In the basement, no one can hear you scream, or...

Return of the Aliens: 
The Deadly Spawn (1983)

(a.k.a. The Alien's Deadly Spawn, Deadly Spawn, and The Return of the Alien's Deadly Spawn)
Written by John Dods (story), Ted A. Bohus, and Douglas McKeown
Directed by McKeown

Details at the IMDB, US.IMDB

Imitation is the sincerest flattery. 
C. C. Colton (1780-1832)

Shortly after the movie Alien (1979) was released, the media was flooded with things that looked like Alien.  No surprise there, see the quote from Colton above.  

Also, Mad magazine ran a satire.  (Ditto on the surprise level.)  At the end of the parody, the adult alien falls to Earth.  People on the street look up and see the falling monster.  "Somebody's going to pay for this," says a bystander.  Another bystander says, "Yeah, us."

I suppose the premise for this movie makes more sense if you read Mad.

Contents

• The Plot
  • Breakfast of Champions
  • Where's Charlie?
  • Bridge Mix
  • A Hard Act to Swallow
• The Good Stuff
  • Creature Comforts
  • C'est la Grue
• The Bad Stuff
  • Alienation
  • Where Have All the People Gone?
  • Gone, Gone, Long Time Ago
  • Power to the People
• The Who Cares Stuff
  • Notes on the Cast and Crew
  • Roots, Shoots, and Other Compares
    • Meteor Monsters
    • Alien Rip-Offs
• The Bottom Line

The Plot

Breakfast of Champions

We open with a meteor impact in the woods. (Actually, we open with a cheesy special effect of a superimposed ball of light dropping into a valley, but let's humor the movie and say it was a meteor.) Two campers (Andrew Michaels and John Arndt) go check it out. Lucky them, they're on top of it in no time, and one of them goes to get a camera. The one that stayed behind doesn't observe that the meteorite is moving. (Did this character not see The Blob (1958)?) Soon, he's doing what you'd come to expect from a guy camping in a nightmarish movie; that is, he's squealing like a pig. The other guy doesn't notice because he's in a tent looking for his flashgun. Something unseen munches him, but we get to see a toothy shadow puppet on the wall of the tent and a close-up of his bloody hand while red stuff pools under it. Go to opening credits, red on black.

Last time this happened, two jokers from Planet Arous showed up.	...which leads to the question: Was this a sequel or did they have a prequel planned?

Go to a long shot of a house next to a rocky hill at night. An alarm clock at 6:20 buzzes, and Sam (James Brewster) shuts it off. His wife Barbara (Elissa Neil) thinks he's crazy for getting up so early. Sam goes to the bathroom. (And it's broad daylight. Thanks, continuity.) He notices the sink is not working.

Sam goes down to the basement, wades into the standing water, and sees the broken hot water pipe. (Yes, the scene is played out for its creepiness.) Eventually, something knocks him off his feet, and his abdomen is covered in red stuff. He screams. Shadows show a toothy silhouette is struggling with him. More red stuff splatters the wall and a hanging light bulb.

Barbara comes downstairs from the bedroom. (Apparently, she couldn't hear Sam screaming.) She goes to the kitchen, which is the entrance for basement. After feeding their cat, she goes to basement door and calls for Sam. No answer. She goes down. Although she's momentarily freaked by red splatters all over the place, she notes one of the stains is on a can of paint. While watching some red stuff go down the drain, Norman Bate's mother attacks. No, sorry, wrong movie. She backs up, and Sam's hand goes down on her shoulder. She turns around, and sees that Sam's arm is being chewed on by several rows of teeth. (Hey! It's a "hand puppet." Get it? Hahahahaha...oh, never mind.) She screams, and then she gets munched.

Elsewhere, Herb (John Schmerling) and Millie (Ethel Michelson) wake to the sound of screaming. (We've gone through four characters already. Want to bet this movie is about these two? Hint: Keep your money in your pocket.) The source of the screams is a TV set in another room. Charlie (Charles George Hildebrandt), who is about ten and, as we later learn, Sam and Barbara's son, is watching a monster movie. His room is a shrine to all things Famous Monsters like.

Millie goes downstairs. She can't find Barbara and Sam. (OK, so either she has some hearing loss, too, or they have some industrial grade soundproofing on the basement.) She finds some notes. One says an electrician is coming today, and the other is about going out. Herb comes down. (We know he's going to get munched because he's going bald. Nothing says fodder like an outstandingly high forehead.)

And in YET ANOTHER ROOM, Pete (we're not sure; see Notes on Cast and Crew) is talking to someone on the phone. (Another character unrelated to what we've seen so far? What the heck is this? Night on Earth (1991)?) He talks to someone about biology course and makes plans for a study group. They also think about inviting a girl. They digress into an allegedly ironic dialogue about science fiction vs. science. (Actually, it's more like a monologue. We are never shown shots of the guy on the other end of the phone, and it's a long conversation. For all we know, Pete never outgrew his imaginary friends.)

Back in the kitchen, Herb talks to Millie while she makes breakfast. They discuss Charlie and his obsessive behavior. Elsewhere, the subject of their conversation is making a small flash pot out of aluminum foil, a power cord, and some store bought flash powder. (Humph. Everyone knows the real obsessed fans make their own powder.) From outside, we see the door open, and there's a monster in a flash of light. Unfortunately, the monster is holding a rather obvious flashlight pointed up to his face. Millie, who opened door, tells Charlie to come down for breakfast. The dejected junior fright master takes off the monster mask and puts away his magic powder.

Pete (keeping track of this?) comes down for breakfast, where we eventually understand that he's Sam's and Barbara's boy; Herb and Millie are his uncle and aunt. (This is stated during the one-sided phone conversation, but it's unnecessarily hard to follow.)  Charlie enters with a product placement for Famous Monsters magazine. Herb quizzes Charlie about his interest in monsters while Millie makes plans for catering a party for her mother. Herb wants to psychoanalyze Charlie. (We learn that Herb's a professional. Kids, don't try this at home.) Pete talks about science with Herb, and somehow The Thing from Another World (1951) comes up in the conversation.

Where's Charlie?

Millie goes out into the rain. She puts a note on the door for electrician to go around to cellar door.

Herb talks to Charlie about monsters. When asked if he thinks monsters are real, the boy says they're not, 'cept for maybe Bigfoot. But he does like scaring people, and he doesn't like to be scared. Other people scare him more than monsters. (Sounds normal to me. Jean Paul Sartre didn't write, "Hell is other monsters." On the other hand, Angus McKie, author of "So Beautiful and So Dangerous," said, "Hell is other aliens." We digress….)

After the conversation, Herb stretches out for a nap. He doesn't notice that the walls and carpet are moving. (Perhaps he's ingested a few too many chemicals for his own recreational psychology.)

Charlie watches the electrician arrive. The boy puts on a costume and mask, gets a flashlight, and heads down to the cellar. (Personal note: An electrician in a strange, dark place doesn't usually have a good sense of humor, and they carry some wicked tools. Kids, don't try this at home, either.) Elsewhere, Pete is getting his room ready for company. The power goes out.

Charlie puts the light under his face, but since there's no audience, he's a little disappointed. He sees an open toolbox and sparking fuse box. He checks out the rest of the dark basement. (This scene is played out for a loooong time. We'd feel suspense if we really cared about the character.) Eventually, he sees a big tadpole lookin' critter with lots of teeth. He follows it with the beam of his flashlight for a while, and sees a twitching, dismembered hand. Charlie looks at his own hand. (Why? We don't know. Maybe he suspected it was his own.) He turns around and sees a big toothy mouth. The fuse box sparks again, and the power comes back on. (They must have one of those fuse boxes that work better when they burn out.)

We now clearly see the big monster in the basement. It's got a huge head and several rows of "sharp, nastie, pointie teethie." It has several heads, too, sprouting out like branches from the main body (which is not really defined). (Fans of the movie Alien can tell you that the production crew dubbed the adult monster "The Tall Chap." Therefore, we'll be referring to the big monster as The Toothy Chap™.)

Several of the tadpole critters (hereafter referred to as Land Piranhas™) are crawling around the basement, too. (Quick, somebody call Orkin! That Battletech style hero of those commercials should be able to handle this.) They're munching on a head that The Toothy Chap™ dropped, and it's a surprisingly elaborate, grotesque shot. Charlie doesn't move. The Toothy Chap™ and the Land Piranhas™ are ignoring him. (Maybe the boy is used to that in real life.)

The Land Piranhas™ audition for the opening scene from Look Who's Talking (1989).	"Feed me, Seymour!"

Meanwhile, Pete's friends Frank (Richard Lee Porter) and Ellen (Jean Tafler) arrive. Ellen shows Pete something they found on the way. It's a dead Land Piranha™. They don't know what it is, but they do know enough taxonomy to understand that it shouldn't exist. Ellen grabs a razor and asks for a cookie sheet.

Back in the basement, the Land Piranhas™ are pulling the face off the disposed head, and once again, it's surprisingly elaborate and grotesque. Charlie still hasn't moved. He watches some Land Piranhas™ wiggle up a wall and out the open basement window. None of these critters have noticed him yet. He snaps fingers, and suddenly all the monsters are aware of him. (I've also noticed that snapping fingers will work in some restaurants, too, but it's awfully rude.) When the monsters start moving in his direction, Wiley Coyote, er, I mean Charlie, realizes that his plan to check the critters' senses has worked a little too well. He throws his flashlight at a wall, and the hungry horrors go for the noise.

Elsewhere, Millie arrives at her mom's house. We are introduced to her and learn she's a LOLITS with a thing for vegetarianism. (Irony? You decide.) They get things ready for a party.

Meanwhile, Ellen puts the dead Land Piranha™ onto a piece of corkboard and starts cutting into this oversized, pink tadpole. (Guys, there's something very unsettling about this. And they also drag out the scene for all it's dissection gore quotient.) Afterwards, they debate the plausibility of this thing (us, too) and decide not to tell others because it sounds silly. Frank leaves to get a book. Pete and Ellen discuss this some more, but cutesy music on electronic piano cues up. Their conversation turns from the biology of the Land Piranha™ to their own biology. They hug and kiss. (Yo, Pete! You just watched her slice up a phallic symbol and she still turns you on? Does the name Bobbitt ring a bell?)

Bridge Mix

In the bathroom, we get a zoom in on the sink with some creepy music. (Why? Don't know. Thank you, movie.) But in another sink, a Land Piranha™ is coming out of the garbage disposal. And we're in the kitchen where Millie's mother is prepping food. She doesn't notice the thing because she's busy loading up a food processor. We are treated to her and Millie debating the relative merits of vegetarianism, but fortunately this is interrupted by the arrival of the other LOLITS. (Oh, yeah. Forgot to mention it. Little Old Ladies In Tennis Shoes.)

The other LOLITS ooh and ah over the food they've brought. In the kitchen, the Land Piranha™ checks out the greens in the food processor. Millie's mom returns to the kitchen, and before you can recite riddles about things that are red and green and go round and round real fast, she turns it on.

Mom brings out the green sauce. The others are not impressed by the taste, but before any of them can ask if this stuff came out of a Bass-O-Matic, several Land Piranhas™ attack. They manage to take several messy chunks out of the LOLITS before their unobliging meals run out of the house. (Dang, where's Frances Lee McCain when you need her. She wasn't playing helpless homemaker when toothy troublemakers started messing up her house in Gremlins (1984).)

Unsettling, I tell you!	"Meesa love ankles!"  (Sorry, that's a long B-Fest inside joke.)

Back to Charlie. He's still playing silent standoff with The Toothy Chap™ and friends. The floorboards over head creak under some weight. Upstairs, Pete, Ellen, and Frank find Herb. Several Land Piranhas™ are munching their way through his motionless body. (And in yet another stylistic lifting from Alien, one pops through his chest.) The terrified teens close the door on them. They turn and see The Toothy Chap™. (Wait, how in the hell did that thing get upstairs so fast? Teleportation?) The scared science students run upstairs and barricade themselves in Charlie's room. They start to ask where the regular occupant is.

Where? He's in the kitchen, plugging in a radio. The boy cranks it up and turns it on. (Fortunately, the lucky fuse box is still working.) The Toothy Chap™ suddenly arrives and munches it. It arcs and sparks and generally annoys the Toothy Chap™.

But just then, someone else comes into the house. (Cripes, didn't this thing have enough characters already? The new character is blonde, buxom, and called is Kathy (Karen Tighe); however, I'm tired of keeping track of this, so we'll be referring to her as Blonde Buxom Girl™.) The Toothy Chap™ leaves the kitchen. Back at Charlie's room, there's a knock at the door. It's Blonde Buxom Girl™. They pull her into the room just before the suddenly arriving Toothy Chap™ can munch her.

The trapped teens take a peek outside. They don't see The Toothy Chap™, so Pete decides they need to make a run for his room, which has a phone. They get ready, get set, and go, but they discover that it ain't prosperity around the corner; it's The Toothy Chap™. Ellen runs back to Charlie's room, while Frank and Blonde Buxom Girl™ break off toward the attic. Unfortunately for Ellen, she's less photogenic than Blonde Buxom Girl™, because The Toothy Chap™ breaks down the door of Charlie's room. A couple of messy shots later, and Ellen's headless body is falling out the window.

A Hard Act to Swallow

Pete, who'd made it to his room, climbs out window into the rain. While outside, he discovers two things. (1) His parents' car is still in the garage, so this doesn't bode well for them, and (2) Ellen ain't the kisser she used to be.

In the attic, Frank fills in Blonde Buxom Girl™ on our plot so far. Pete crawls in through the window. He tells them he's figured it out that his parents are dead, and they've already looked out the window and seen what's so awful about Ellen. Pete's beginning to take this personally; he goes to the attic door with payback in mind. This freaks out on the others. They grab him. The door opens anyway. It's The Toothy Chap™. They shut the door, but the insistent eater knocks on the door while shouting, "Candy-Gram!"  Nah, just kidding; however, it does push its head through door.  The teens crowd over to the far side of the room.  (Somehow, they forget there's a window out of there.)

Elsewhere, Charlie gets a power cord, a mask, and his little bottle flash powder. The miniature MacGyver puts the powder into the mask and inserts the bare leads of the power cord into it, too. While The Toothy Chap™ is closing in on the others, Charlie arrives with the mask on the end of a pole. He makes some noises to get The Toothy Chap's attention. Eventually, the obliging omnivore takes the bait. Charlie jams the prize down the carnivorous critter's throat (?) and reaches to plug it in.

"Heeeere's Spawnie!"	[Management regrets that we were unable to compose a caption that didn't involve the phrase "getting a-head."]

Unfortunately, the cord is too short, so he has to coax the critter over to an outlet. Fortunately, making some noises does this nicely. Unfortunately, a large Land Piranha™ drops on Charlie. Fortunately, Charlie is quick enough to stab the unwanted critter with a screwdriver. Unfortunately, The Toothy Chap™ has stepped up on the struggle and taken a bite. Fortunately (it was the best of times, it was the worst of times), The Toothy Chap™ has grabbed the screaming Land Piranha™ in its maw; the toothy little head sticks out of The Toothy Chap's™ big head. (Hey, it's another Alien homage.)

Charlie pugs in the cord. That's when the power goes out, and everybody gets eaten, so we get some new characters. Nah. Just kidding again. The resulting explosion repaints the room with Toothy Chap™ internals. (Pretty impressive what a small bottle of flash powder can do to what must've been a six hundred pound monster.)

Epilogue. It's a sunny day. Medical crews are looking after the wounded. (And if you know where to look, you'll see some members of the Hildebrandt and Bohus families as doctors, med techs, and nurses.) Some of the locals are hunting down the Land Piranhas™ with shovels and cattle prods. (For some viewers, the scene may look like a cross between hunting overpopulated snakes and the zombie roundup at the end of Night of the Living Dead (1968).

Night. We see a house next to a rocky hill. It's the same shot as immediately after the opening credits. (Blast it! They're running the movie again! Those bastards!) A man is talking on a walkie-talkie about their Land Piranha™ hunt. Some of them have been very large. They comment on how those things seem to keep growing. And then the ground begins to shake. A deep howling fills the air. The guy with the radio freaks out. The entire rocky hill next to the house gives way to the head of a kaiju sized Land Piranha™ (and Gamera is nowhere in sight).

Roll credits. They're surprisingly incomplete. Although the actors who played the main characters are listed in the opening credits, none of them are listed (with their characters) in the end credits. (Thanks to the Internet Movie Data Base for filling us in on most of the cast.) Perhaps the filmmakers were going to do little clips of the characters with the actor's names just before the rest of the credits, but didn't get around to it. Ah, well. They still found the time to put the following cryptic line at the very end of the credits:

Don't try it, Gary.

The Good Stuff

Creature Comforts

On the whole, the monsters in this movie are very effective. For example, The Land Piranhas™ are an impressive achievement when the wriggle around en masse. It's not a perfect realization, though. In some shots, they're just too obviously mechanical puppets, as when their jaws move but the rest of their bodies don't. The dissection scene is remarkably convincing.

But the star of this show is The Toothy Chap™. In the dark basement, when it opens its mouth, you can see the saliva drip from the tips of its many sharp teeth. The lighting, selection of shots, and editing are outstanding. The puppet work to make the thing move is very good; its head and mouth movements are credible.

However, the final scene (giant Land Piranha™ crashes through hill side) is just too silly. Sure, they film it in an entertaining way, but you still have to ask what this thing was eating. It's the old science fiction monster movie problem with growing monsters - where in the heck did all that mass come from?  Did it eat a forest an no one noticed?

C'est la Grue

Most of the gore effects here are remarkably elaborate. As noted in the plot, there's a scene where The Land Piranhas™ pull the face off a human head. Some viewers may sense revulsion, but if you're not caught up by this, you may look at it and appreciate how much work went into the prosthetic as it's pulled apart.

The Bad Stuff

Alienation

First and foremost, this is a stylistic rip-off of Alien. You can see it in the title. The Return of the Aliens? Return from what, the earlier movie by Scott and O'Bannon?

Just as that earlier movie features monsters that are phallic, so does this one. However, the makers of Alien used this as a central theme.  In Deadly Spawn, the symbolism is referenced with no clear meaning. The inference we make? The filmmakers were more into style than substance.

Shortly after the release of Alien, the filmmakers commented on one of the subtle touches they gave The Tall Chap to creep out the audience: It has no eyes, yet can still sense its prey. Likewise, the makers of Deadly Spawn gave the The Toothy Chap™ no eyes. Also, Deadly Spawn borrows several other bits from Alien (like the chest buster and (by coincidence?) the mouth-within-a-mouth).

Ah, well.  At least they didn't use the "vacate the premises before time runs out" plot device.

Where Have All the People Gone?

We go through four characters before we meet someone who's going to be in the story for a while. Sure, it's important to show or imply a minor character's death so the audience can see how the monster works, but are four, placed into two separate sequences, really needed before we meet a main character?

Gone, Gone, Long Time Ago

The main characters are not very interesting. This is an important shortcoming, because if we are to feel any sense of suspense, the audience should care what happens to them. For example, Pete should be interesting. He gets good dialogue and the actor playing him is competent. However, his presentation in this story is lackluster. Charlie is probably the character most people who'd watch this will appreciate.  Through him, we get several references to other monster movies, which should at least make him interesting to monster fans.  But, once again, he just doesn't sink into the viewers and hold their sense of identification. 

The fault here is the presentation. The monster scenes are carefully staged and presented, with several entertaining edits. Contrast this with the scenes with people talking.  They're pretty low grade. We get few reaction shots in the editing, and we get long stretches of dialogue that make you want to yell, "C'mon! Get on with it!" Most of these scenes don't take advantage of the camera and editing room; they're filmed too much like a flat stage play while monster scenes are carefully crafted.

Also note the sudden departure of Ellen from the story immediately after the introduction of another character. I have no idea why they did this. You could argue that it's there to catch the audience off guard. (See Psycho (1960) for an example of a surprising character death.) However, it's unsettling in a bad way. They build up a character, start to make it possible for the audience to identify with her, and then abruptly kill her off shortly after introducing another extraneous character. Why couldn't they just stay with someone who was just beginning to get interesting?

Perhaps the filmmakers had a great idea for a monster.  From there, this movie became a labor of love.  However, they had to build people around the monster to tell a story. Just as Charlie is more comfortable with his monsters than with people, this movie is more comfortable with its monsters than its humans.  

Power to the People

There are several points that are unclear in the story as presented. The most glaring example is the electrical power. They effectively show us that the power has gone out in the house, and we are led to understand this has to do with the fuse box. However, the power comes back on, but the only clear indication we have of this is the light in the basement comes on again.

Later, some characters talk about a power outage, but it is unclear if this was why the power came back on, or was it just the fuse box behaving unpredictably. Since power outlets are important in the later story, more effort should've been made to explain if they were supposed to be working or not.

There are also minor continuity gaffs; these have been noted in the plot description.

The Who Cares Stuff

Notes on the Cast and Crew

First of all, it's very difficult to determine who played Pete.  That's the character's name, but as noted near the end of the plot description, we don't get a name with the character.  Checking the IMDB, there's no Pete listed either.  However, there are two unattached characters in their credit list.  I don't care to guess which one it is.

Andrew Michaels and John Arndt played the two campers.  One may have been a character actor who made appearances as a crewman on Star Trek (1966-69), the other went into porns. This leads to the question: What were they DOING out there in the woods?

Tim Hildebrandt (executive producer and creature effects) is better known to fandom as half of the Brothers Hildebrandt.  They were twin brothers who created some of the most recognizable science fiction and fantasy art from the late '70's.  Two of their most memorable works were the original poster art for Star Wars (1977) and some popular artwork for The Lord of the Rings series of books.

Roots, Shoots, and Other Compares

Meteor Monsters - It's bad enough when a meteorite comes crashing down on your party, but it's worse when you get party crashers arriving inside a meteorite. This list does not include possession from a meteorite (e.g., Killdozer (1974) and Phase IV (1973), nor mutation (e.g. Die, Monster Die (1965)), nor spacecrafts disguised as meteorites (e.g. War of the Worlds (1954)).

Monolith Monsters (1957) - Meteorite contains water sucking rock life form. It grows and starts crashing down on things. Given the premise, surprisingly entertaining.

The Blob (1958) - As shown near the beginning, a pointed stick is no defense against something that can survive re-entry. Followed by a notorious sequel in 1972, and remade in 1988. [We're not sure, but the screaming on the TV near the beginning of Deadly Spawn may have been from this or It!  The Terror from Beyond Space (1958).  We'll be verifying this sometime....]

Ghidrah, the Three-Headed Monster (1964) - As if the giant monsters of Earth and the Japanese Defense Force didn't have enough problems, a giant meteorite containing the titled terror drops in. (Monsters in meteors happen in various other kaiju features.)

The Green Slime (1969) - Astronauts from a space station stop an asteroid before it becomes an Earth destroying meteorite. [They took twenty minutes and maybe 30K to tell this part, and it was entertaining. There, take THAT, Armageddon.] However, the returning astronauts carry a contamination that grows into a herd of monsters.

The Andromeda Strain (1971) - What if the first life form encountered from space was a virus?

The Cremators (1972) - Luminescent alien lights up the life of a few locals.

Creepshow (1982) - The segment "The Lonesome Death of Jordy Verrill" follows fungus on a meteorite.

The Iron Giant (1999) - Given the other stuff that's fallen from the sky, who'd expect the government to trust this one?

Alien Rip-Offs - The movie Alien has been the object of a lot of sincere flattery if you accept what they say about imitation.  At the end of last Summer, Nathan Shumate organized a Alien rip-off home film festival for subscribers to the B-Movie Mailing List.  Check out the standards (and a partial listing of reviews), and while you're in the neighborhood, you can look at this author's contribution to the fun.

The Bottom Line

Otherworldly omnivores hatch from a meteorite. Stylistic rip-off of Alien. Some astoundingly elaborate monster and gore effects for an independent film, pretty much a labor of love.  Characters not as interesting as they should've been; this voids real suspense. Good editing in monster scenes, but poor editing during character dialogues. Recommended for gore hounds and serious monster fans.  Not recommended for the kiddies, anyone who worries too much about things in the basement, nor people who appreciate real horror because

What the...?  Who said that?

Originally published 25 June 2000