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RossM
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
427 Posts |
 Posted - 12/10/2007 : 09:27:05 AM
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I was inspired by the movie prop topic to do this one. My favorite is what Roger Ebert calls the Hollywood car. Its a car that works perfectly until the girl has to flee the bad guy, and then it doesn't start.
I also love all those slow moving fans that exist at the ends of shafts and hanging from the ceilings of abandoned warehouses.
rossM |
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Food
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
342 Posts |
Posted - 12/10/2007 : 10:47:29 AM
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| The L-shaped bedsheet that goes to a man's waist and to lady's shoulders. |
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Ericb
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
648 Posts |
Posted - 12/10/2007 : 10:56:09 AM
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Trashcans that double as fire places and provide the light and heat for bad parts of town.
"I reserve the right to look as well as be boring." - Robert Fripp |
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Capt. Nemo
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
630 Posts |
Posted - 12/10/2007 : 2:59:18 PM
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When some gets shot and then they suddenly get back up, they need to rip there shirt open to reveal they had bullet-proof vest on.
That behavior is practically mandated by cinema law.
________________________________________________________________________
"Ward, the Beaver blew up the 7-11 again."
"I'll have a talk with him Dear" |
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Neville
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
Spain
1590 Posts |
Posted - 12/10/2007 : 3:12:58 PM
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I just love when people survive shootouts by hiding behind the most stupid things, like tin walls, trashcans or wooden doors, stuff that is everything but bullet proof.
Oh, and dirty cops that always work in pairs. If a movie has any dirty cops in it, you can bet they will be partners and will always appear together and behave like a single entity. Good examples are Strange Days and Payback. |
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Flangepart
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
2329 Posts |
Posted - 12/10/2007 : 3:54:33 PM
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Professor Monkey for a head. : Fruitcarts? I HATE fruitcarts!
Top half of Prof's cranium : Ook acc ach ook ack ack?
Prof. Monkey for a head : Why!? Because a fruitcart, a stinking fruitcart!-killed-my pa!
Marvin the Paranoid Android to Buzz Lightyear "Too infinity and beyond-i've been there, its rubbish!"
"Hoody Hoo, i waste 'em with my cross bow!" Bob Herzog- KODT
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hentai_wolf
Preeminent Apostolic Prelate of the Discipleship of Jabootu
139 Posts |
Posted - 12/10/2007 : 6:33:49 PM
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| Speaking of vehicles, I love how semis somehow have enough clearance for cars to fit underneath (although sometimes the roof is comically ripped off). Although the one from License to Kill was by far the best, when it (sans trailer) popped a wheelie. |
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Citizen Carrier
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
322 Posts |
Posted - 12/10/2007 : 6:59:12 PM
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Cinema Law. If somebody is going to get an injection with a hypodermic needle, the camera must show the hypodermic needle going into the skin. Otherwise, the audience would not believe that a shot was given.
Cinema Law. A gunshot wound to the shoulder is to be interpreted by the audience to mean that everything is okay.
I think another "Ebertism" is what he calls the "snicker-snick". A killer's knife must at least once make that sliding "ping" noise as if it has been drawn out of a sheath at an angle. This is even though it is usually a large kitchen knife and there is no surface the blade is in contact with when you hear the snicker-snick.
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Greenhornet
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
1791 Posts |
Posted - 12/10/2007 : 8:40:26 PM
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This was mostly done in the fifties:
The 1920s can be recreated with just three props: A tommygun, a snapbrim hat and a "cathedral" radio (which did not appier untill 1932).
In a "western", Part One: a saddle will ALWAYS have on it a rope, a canteen, a blanket roll and a pair of saddlebags, even if the horse is being ridden by a genteel lady who never leaves town.
In a "western", Part Two: 90% of the time the saddlebags will be EMPTY, even if the owner is making atrip of several days across a desert.
In a "western", Part Three: Once the characters cross the Mississippi river, EVERYONE who is armed will have an 1873 Colt revolver and an 1892 Winchester carbine, even if the movie takes place DECADES before these guns were designed ("The Commancheros", for instance, which took place around 1840)
"The Queen is testing poisons." CLEOPATRA, 1935 |
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Citizen Carrier
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
322 Posts |
Posted - 12/10/2007 : 11:14:05 PM
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Ah, but you may be overlooking the "John Wayne Special Dispensation Clause". There is a "rule" in the Cowboy Action Shooting world that any movie starring Wayne is automatically forgiven if the guns he uses do not match the period in which the movie is set. Therefore, if Wayne is in a Civil War era movie and he brandishes an 1873 Colt, the anachronism is null and void due to the presence of Wayne.
I swear I'm not making that up.
Firearms are something Hollywood routinely gets wrong or takes liberties with.
I watched an episode of Supernatural a few weeks ago where a villain was shooting a revolver at the two heroes of the series. With each shot from the revolver the director added in the tinkling noise of ejected brass cases striking the pavement. Only problem is that revolvers don't automatically eject spent cases after each shot. I guess he just liked the way empty cases sound when they hit the ground.
Nobody ever seems to go into a potentially dangerous situation with their firearms chambered. This calls for much ratcheting of slides and charging handles in a most macho fashion when it would've been far more prudent to anticipate trouble long before that point. This blunder is without fail committed by professional contract killers, government agents, and allegedly trained military personnel. Indeed, the sound effects of charging handles and slides being racked is often added in even when nobody in the shot actually IS performing that function with their firearm.
Hmm. Just thought of another prop I'd like to have available to me.
I want a seemingly endless supply of ropes and vines available to me for the purpose of swinging across rooms or between buildings in a lively, swashbuckling fashion. My inspiration for this comes from the numerous times characters were able to swing around in the movie Van Helsing.
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Edited by - Citizen Carrier on 12/10/2007 11:20:41 PM |
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zombiewhacker
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
1475 Posts |
Posted - 12/10/2007 : 11:37:50 PM
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The Safety Dance:
Bumbling Hero/Heroine - "Stop or I'll shoot."
Villain: "I don't think so."
(Hero/Heroine pulls the trigger. Nothing. Villain then clobbers our protagonist and grabs the gun.)
Villain: "You left the safety on."
Gaaawwd, am I tired of that one.
Also another tired cliche:
Whenever a letter needs to be destroyed, there will always be a roaring fireplace close by.
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Edited by - zombiewhacker on 12/10/2007 11:38:31 PM |
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Citizen Carrier
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
322 Posts |
Posted - 12/10/2007 : 11:54:33 PM
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It's not just that Zombiewhacker, but there are rules that must be observed when an armed person confronts somebody who is unarmed.
Rule One. When you have your enemy covered with your gun, make sure you stand close enough to him so he can disarm you before you have a chance to fire. This is facilitated by holding the muzzle against his chest while standing in front of him or by coming up behind him, putting him into a quasi-half nelson while holding the gun against his head.
Rule Two. If you aren't standing close enough for Rule One, allow your enemy to walk towards you slowly while saying things like "you don't have it in you" and "you're no killer". While he is doing this, you are required to have a severe internal moral dilemma. This even though the enemy may have framed you for murder, attempted to kill your wife, or ruined your reputation with slander.
Rule Three. If the actors playing the hero and the villain spent months of intense physical training with weights and dieting in order to have chiseled, sculpted bodies, the movie SHALL NOT end without the two of them engaging in an intense scene of hand-to-hand combat. As in Lethal Weapon, the enemy CAN be killed by being shot to death, but ONLY after the hero has bested him physically and the villain is required to "cheat" by attempting to use a gun.
Rule Three, Sub-paragraph One. It is permissable for the villain to actually have a gun on his person, concealed or otherwise during the intense final hand to hand fight scene with the hero. The villain is required to REFRAIN from using that gun until after he is lying on the ground bleeding from multiple punches and kicks and the hero is at the other side of the room hugging his wife/daughter/girlfriend etc. |
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AnnGora
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
252 Posts |
Posted - 12/11/2007 : 3:02:50 PM
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Movie make-up must dry like Lucite. Film couples can slurp and slobber all over each other’s faces, but the lipstick never smears. In the real world, the lady would resemble Bozo after playing tonsil hockey with our hero.
That goes for foundation and mascara. After one night of bliss, the pillow should be stained with Max Factor Sand Beige Foundation and what mascara did not run down her cheeks would leave black speckles on the linens.
Of course, I just repeat what friends have told me…
She was bred in old Kentucky, but she's just a crumb up here. |
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Flangepart
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
2329 Posts |
Posted - 12/11/2007 : 4:43:03 PM
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AnnGora : Remember Big T. in Little China? Jack kissed the herione...and ends up with lipstick on his pucker machine! Beauty.
I once saw two goons with Ingram Submachine guns makeing a racket trying to shoot Conner McCloud in an Eph. of HIGHLANDER...one lil problim....they had suppressors on them!!
What, they bought their silenceers at 'big pug's discount thug world?'
Marvin the Paranoid Android to Buzz Lightyear "Too infinity and beyond-i've been there, its rubbish!"
"Hoody Hoo, i waste 'em with my cross bow!" Bob Herzog- KODT
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Greenhornet
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
1791 Posts |
Posted - 12/11/2007 : 5:23:25 PM
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Citizen Carrier
Per, "Rule Two":
My addition to "The Evil Overlords' List" is "I will always remember that 'You won't shoot' are pretty STUPID last words!"
AnnGora
You might be interested to know that Max Factor worked in the movies and developed waterproof make-up in the thirties!
"The Bullet-Proof Hat"
When shot, it will fly off the wearer's head, leaving his scalp unharmed.
(Or is that a "Wardrobe Cliche"?)
"The Queen is testing poisons." CLEOPATRA, 1935 |
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Citizen Carrier
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
322 Posts |
Posted - 12/11/2007 : 7:10:57 PM
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That's what I was trying to remember! The Evil Overlord's List. I remember reading it here some time ago.
My favorite was something like "When told by the Evil Overlord that unless I surrender others will die, I will begin mercilessly quoting Ayn Rand to him." |
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