Nugget
Articles are now arranged in the following categories,
for the general interest and confusion of our readers.
[ Commentary
Track Commentaries | Essentials |
Mini-Reviews
]
[ Miscellany |
Oddments
| Readers
Forums | Video
Cheese ]
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TV Movies, shows & specials?
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TV page!
Our most recent Nugget Updates:
Snitch'd.
Ken tattles on this markedly inept crime drama/home movie starring a
particularly desperate housewife.
-- by Ken Begg (10/30/05)
From Justin to Kelly.
Guest reviewer Eva 'Pip' Vandergeld explains why she wishes these
Americans had stayed idle.
-- by Eva 'Pip' Vandergeld (06/05/05)
___________________________________
COMMENTARY
TRACK COMMENTARIES:
Commentary
Track Commentaries: Dracula vs. Frankenstein
A hilarious fieldtrip through the making of a camp classic,
courtesy of producer Sam Sherman.
-by Ken Begg, 12/18/00
Commentary
Track Commentaries: Bats
Director Louis Morneau and actor Lou Diamond Philips discuss Bats,
and Ken is there.
-by Ken Begg, 8/04/00
Commentary
Track Commentaries: The Holcraft Covenant
Frequent Jabootu punching bad John Frankenheimer provides his
thoughts on Ken's favorite espionage flick. Does he come clean?
-by Ken Begg, 6/24/00
ESSENTIALS:
Numeration
of Nomenclature
Want to be the Ultimate Insider? Just study this handy compendium of Jabootish
jargon. Then you'll be able to sneer with derision when some newcomer asks,
"IITS? What's that mean?"
-a compilation
MINI-REVIEWS:
10.5
It's a disaster, all right.
-- by Ken Begg (05/25/04)
A*P*E
Mammoth Monkey Mondays Month soldiers on!
-- by Ken Begg 09/16/02
Agent
Red
Dolph Lundgren finally makes the scene.
-by Ken Begg, 09/09/2001
Bimini
Code
Bikinis...Adventures...Boredom...Mostly Boredom...
-by Ken Begg, 10/14/2000
Captain
America I & II
The Star Spangled Avenger faces his most deadly foe -- bad TV movie
adaptations!
Part of Superhero Month!
-by Ken Begg, 05/04/2002
Chastity
Cher is a troubled free-spirit that has one wishing to remain a virgin,
at least where this movie is concerned..
-by Ken Begg, 12/05/2004
Ken
Blows His Stack Over
Dante's Peak
& Volcano
Two big budget movies with the same plot device battle to see which can
be more moronic. Which succeeds? Find out here...
-by Ken Begg, 7/16/2000
Deathsport
Ken suits up with Badmovies.org, Cold Fusion Video & SciFilm
to
call foul on the cinematic future of sports.
-- by Ken Begg 03/19/03
Gold
of the Amazon Women
The golden age of the TV movie revealed!
-by Ken Begg, 04/12/2001
Half
Past Dead
Ken teams up with the Warden over at Prison Flicks.com to
review the cinematic death penalty that is one of Steven Seagal's
latest ventures. Let's just say that we won't be recommending
parole.
-- by Ken Begg (01/25/04)
Heavenly
Bodies
I sort of lose site of the whole 'nugget' concept as I examine this fine
example of the '80s Aerobics genre. Which, I believe, is pretty
much represented by this and Perfect.
-by Ken Begg, 8/18/2000
Hitler
-- Dead or Alive
Three mugs decide to collect a million dollar bounty on Hitler.
That'll learn 'im.
-by Ken Begg, 03/17/2001
Isn't She Great
You know you're in trouble when they can't get the punctuation of the
film's title right.
-by Ken Begg, 9/15/2000
Twenty+
Things I Collectively Hate About
I Know What You Did Last Summer and
I
Still Know What You Did Last Summer
The Slasher Movie had a devastating impact on "horror" movies.
For one thing, it almost destroyed the genre entirely...
-by Jason MacIsaac, 6/4/2000
Kill
Squad
Martial arts mayhem at its worstest!!
-by Ken Begg, 07/26/2001
King Kong
Lives
Mammoth Monkey Mondays Month goes bananas!
-- by Ken Begg 09/23/02
Konga
Mammoth Monkey Mondays Month begins!
-- by Ken Begg, 09/02/02
Ten
Things I Hate About
The Lost World
When Lost World: Jurassic Park came out, some readers asked me if I intended to do
a review of it. I said no. While the film annoyed me in many instances, it wasn’t
nearly bad enough to qualify for a review. Yet, the picture has idiocies galore. And
the man to blame is Steven Spielberg...
-by Ken Begg, 10/1/99
The Mighty
Gorga
Mammoth Monkey Mondays Month concludes! Thank goodness!
-- by Ken Begg 09/30/02
The
Mighty Kong
'Twas crappy animation and songs that killed the beast.
-by Ken Begg, 9/10/2000
Mighty Peking
Man
Mammoth Monkey Mondays Month continues!
-- by Ken Begg, 09/09/02
Project
Shadowchaser 3000
The always alluring Douglas Milroy kick things off with a mini-review (for us, anyway) of
this Sci-Fi epic, a film that he fears contains one or two teeny-tiny scientific errors...
-by Douglas Milroy
Road
House
Correspondent Jessica Ritchey returns to tear out Patrick Swayze's
throat.
-by Jessica Ritchey, 06/22/2002
The Skydivers
Another Coleman Francis epic hits the earth with a thud.
-by Ken Begg,(11/14/04)
Supergirl
Superman's cousin gets the kryptonite treatment from correspondent
Jessica Ritchey.
Part of Superhero Month!
-by Jessica Ritchey, 05/11/2002
Sweet
November
Well, the title's half right: Watching the film isn't very
sweet, but it does seem to last a month..
-by Ken Begg, 10/07/2001
Tycus
A killer comet threatens to destroy Earth. If only it would do so
before this movie destroyed my interest.
-by Ken Begg, 03/03/2001
Wild
Women
It's junky jungle action as the B-Masters' Cabal looks at Sisters
going it alone.
-- by Ken Begg 12/07/02
Xanadu
What killed the movie musical? I think it was Xanadu.
-- by Jessica Ritchey 02/17/03
Zombie
Lake
Hilarity, er, horror ensues when naked women mix it up with
blood-drinking Nazi Zombies!!
-by Ken Begg, 08/30/2001
MISCELLANY:
Netflix Month 2004!
The plan was to attempt to briefly review at least one disc on his
Netflix list every day (more or less) in the month of July 2004.
Sadly, the experiment was cut short by the Great Computer Crash of
Aught-Four. There's still some stuff there, though.
Douglas
Milroy's Video Vault
Let the rejoicing begin as one of Jabootu's most popular
reviewers returns to the fold! Douglas takes us on a guided tour of
his own private Video Hall of Horrors. 07/12/03
Ken
& Jessica's B-Fest 2003 Dairies
The agony of the movies; the ecstasy of the sleep.
-- by Ken Begg & Guest reviewer Jessica Ritchey
Fall
Season Movie 2002 Preview:
What I think about what's coming to theaters.
-- by Ken Begg, 09/03/02
G-Fest
2002:
Ken reports on this year's Godzilla convention.
by Ken Begg, 07/14/02
The 2002 American Film Market Report:
Available for distribution: Lots o' crap!
by Ken Begg, 03/09/02
Ken
Reflects on B-Fest 2002
Best B-Fest
ever.
Lianna
Skywalker Reflects on B-Fest 2002
She came, she
saw, she drank a lot of Diet Coke.
Ken's
New Orleans Worst Film Fest 2001 (NOWFF) Diary
Down in the Big Easy.
Ken
Reflects on B-Fest 2001
I survive again.
-by Ken Begg, 01/30/01
Fall
2000 Movie Preview
I gaze into my crystal ball and attempt to foretell the fates of
moviegoers for the next three months or so.
-by Ken Begg, 8/18/2000
Hegel
and Jungle Hell; An Ontological Study
Read Andrew Muchoney's learned dissertation, inspired by B-Fest
2000. Learn why vampires are self-destructive, aliens hate
livestock, the history of acid baths, why the ending of Planet of
the Apes is confusing and how to apply the teachings of Hegel,
Locke, Kant, Sartre and other worthies to watching Bad Movies.
-by Andrew A. Muchoney, Esq. 6/24/00
Ken
Reflects on B-Fest 2000
"This, truly, was the best B-Fest ever. Yet when I recall it, it
will be the people I remember more than the films themselves.
(Although it was a startlingly good line-up)..."
-by Ken Begg, 2/13/2000
Unapix
Home Video
I was heartened when a catalog from
Unapix Home Entertainment popped up at the public library where I work.
I felt safe grabbing this item, as it featured videos that our
media librarians were unlikely to add to our collection. Filled with lurid and
charmingly silly video box photos, this catalog, aimed at video store
owners, sported the kind of stuff that can still cheer up the jaded
B-Movie fan. Rip-offs of
successful movies and former stars and near stars now caught in Cinema
Purgatory abounded. So
here’s some things to keep an eye out for when next you visit your local
video outlet.
-by Ken Begg, 1/10/2000
Ken Begg's
Picks o' Halloween Flicks
"This was something I did as a lark, somewhere around fifteen years ago. I worked my
butt off for two months (unfortunately, it grew back, larger than ever) and succeeded in
finishing it in time to hand out a few copies the week before Halloween. It was the first
lengthy thing I ever wrote. Through the years, I would occasionally update it, but mostly
ignored it. We meant to post it for last Halloween, but I never got the necessary scut
work done. "
-by Ken Begg, 10/15/99
ODDMENTS:
A
Night With the Boys
Travel back in time to the 1950s and join the action as some
average joes get together for their weekly poker game.
-by Ken Begg, 7/16/00
Odyssey
Couple
"…Can a prissy Captain and a crew full of swine make it back to ancient Greece
without driving each other crazy?"
-by Ken Begg, 10/1/99
"Hook,
Line and Sinker": The Jabootu Banner Contest
It never seems to fail that an audience knows what works better than producers usually do,
and Jabootu's banner contest is no exception. See what the psychological
profile of a likely first-time Jabootu reader looks like to us, in the latest blitz of
Jabootuite advertising.
-brought to you by the Jabootu Staff
READER
FORUMS:
Readers of this site assemble to bash a movie.
Readers'
Forum: Spiders
A tangled web we weave with the last of our three giant monster
movies.
11/04/00
Readers'
Forum: Crocodile
A distinguished panel notes that Tobe Hooper has apparently seen The
Blair Witch Project..
10/29/00
Readers'
Forum: Octopus
Correspondents David Fullam, Kurt and Diana vonRoeschlaub, Fred
Robinson and Zandor
Varkov join with Ken in
discussing this first of three giant monster flicks.
10/22/00
Readers'
Forum: The Sky's on Fire
Correspondents Apostic and Kurt vonRoeschlaub join with Ken in
discussing this disastrous disaster flick.
-by Ken Begg, 7/16/00
VIDEO
CHEESE:
A monthly magazine examining B-Movies of various
quality.
NOTE:
Missing VC issues due to the Great Computer Crash of Aught-Four.
July 2005 Video Cheese:
T-Fest!! *
The Punisher *
Rent-a-Cop *
Book Beat: Blockbuster by Thomas Shone
-- by Ken Begg
June
2004 Video Cheese
Curse
of the Komodo * The
Last Samurai * Mortal
Kombat * BOOK
REVIEW SPECIAL: Megalodon
-- by Ken Begg (06/30/04)
May
2004 Video Cheese
Dark
Waters *
Goddess
of Love
-- by Ken Begg (05/31/04)
April
2004 Video Cheese
2004
Summer Movie Preview *
Wild
Women of Wongo
-- by Ken Begg (04/30/04)
March
2004 Video Cheese
2004
American Film Market Report * Black
Gunn * Red
Water * Strays
-- by Ken Begg (03/28/04)
Jan/Feb
2004 Video Cheese
* 2004 Academy Awards
Recap * 2004
Spring Movie Preview * Comic
Book: The Movie
* Kaliman
In the Sinister World of Humanon * Shark
Zone
-- by Ken Begg; additional content by correspondent Jessica Ritchey
December 2003 Video Cheese
Nude
for Satan * Schlock!
The Secret History of American Movies * Storm Trooper
-- by Ken Begg (12/31/03)
November 2003 Video Cheese
Antibody
* Code
Name: Alpha * The
Giant Spider Invasion
-- by Ken Begg
October 2003 Video Cheese
Girls Are For Loving *
Hollywood Homicide *
The
Mad Monster * The
Strangler of Blackmoor Castle
-- by Ken Begg
September
2003 Video Cheese
2003
Fall Movie Preview * The
Abductors * Tintorera
-- by Ken Begg 09/30/03
July/August
2003 Video Cheese
Elvira's
Haunted Hills * Ginger
* Ice
Crawlers
* She
Demons
-- by Ken Begg 08/03/03
June
2003 Video Cheese
Body
Count * Double
Platinum * Invincible
* The
Specialist
-- by Ken Begg 06/30/03
May
2003 Video Cheese
2003 Fall TV
Preview * 2003
Cannes Film Fest Product Roundup
*
Greatest '70s Cop Shows
* Sabretooth * Vincent Price: The Sinister Image
-- by Ken Begg
April
2003 Issue
2003 Summer
Movie Preview * Black
Dog
* Day It Came
to Earth
* Student Nurses
-- by Ken Begg
March
2003 Issue
2003 Academy
Awards Diary * Jurassic
Park III
* Python II
* Sasquatch
* Xanadu
-- by Ken Begg; Bonus Special Report by Jessica Ritchey
February
2003 Issue
2003 American
Film Market * 2003
Insect Fear Festival
* Barbarian
Queen
* Eye See You
-- by Ken Begg
January
2003 Issue
Legend of Wolf
Mountain * Naughty
Stewardesses
* Scream of
the Wolf
* Storm
Tracker
-- by Ken Begg
December
2002 Issue
Bucktown * The
Glove * Irma
Vep * The
Mad Executioners
November
2002 Issue
The Rats * Spiders
II: Breeding Ground
* Tail Sting
* They Crawl
October
2002 Issue
Crocodile 2: Death
Swamp * Fangs
* Fathom
* Modesty Blaise
September
2002 Issue
Crocodile * King
Dinosaur
August
2002 Issue:
The Flying Serpent
* Hard Cash * The
Human Beeing * Kong
Island
July
2002 Issue:
Beneath Loch Ness *
The Crater Lake
Monster * Octopus
2: River of Death * Shark
Hunter
June
2002 Issue:
Boa * Creepy
Crawlers * The
Mysterious Magician * 2
+ 5: Mission Hydra
May
2002 Issue:
The Bat Whispers * Batman
and Robin (1949) * Batwoman
April 2002 Issue:
Arachnid *
Cassandra Crossing * Raptor
March 2002 Issue:
The
Mighty Jungle * Robotrix * Santo
vs. the Martian Invasion *
February
2002 Issue:
The
Fat Spy * Snowbeast * Venomous
January
2002 Issue:
The
Annihilators * Blood Surf *
Curse
of the Screaming Dead * Terror in the
Swamp
December 2001 Issue:
Legends
of Kung Fu -- (a ten film set)
November 2001 Issue:
Battle
Beneath the Earth * Everyone Says I
Love You * The In Crowd * The
Lost Idol
October 2001 Issue:
Capture
of Bigfoot * Fangs * Fraulein
Devil * Honeybaby
September 2001 Issue:
Bog *
Hollywood Boulevard * Planet
of the Vampires * Teenage Dreams
August 2001 Issue:
Deadbolt *
The Dirt Bike Kid * The
Invisible Barbarian * Python
July 2001:
Black
Caesar * Five Finger of Death * Mantis
in Lace * Stranger From Venus
June 2001:
Cotton
Comes to Harlem * Ghost
Chase * Girl Hunters * Night
Caller From Outer Space * Slaughter's
Big Ripoff
May 2001:
Mad
Love * Beast With Five Fingers * The
Crawling Hand * Hands of Orlac * Demonoid
April 2001:
American
Pimp * The Cosmic Man * Quicksand *
Slaughter
March
2001:
The Big Combo * Detroit
9000 * Horror Hotel * Teenage
Monster * Unknown Island
February
2001:
Les Vampires * The
Pack * PrettyKill * Running
Time
January
2001:
Hercules in New York * Shadow
of Chikara * Shaft in Africa * A
Time for Romance
December
2000:
Final Justice * Final
Voyage * Mercenaries * The
Storm Riders
November
2000:
Blobermouth * Bloody
Pit of Horror * Cleopatra Jones
October
2000:
Chamber of Horrors * Giant From the Unknown *
Space Thing
September
2000:
Dinosaurus! * Face The Evil *
Kronos * Nude on the Moon *
Switchblade
Sisters
(Be ever vigilant for new information to
appear here!)
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