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" Devoted to the savoring of films at the very bottom of the Cinematic Bell Curve! "


Nugget Articles are now arranged in the following categories, 
for the general interest and confusion of our readers. 

[  Commentary Track Commentaries  |  Essentials   |  Mini-Reviews  ]

[
 
Miscellany  |  Oddments   |  Readers Forums  |  Video Cheese  ]


 

Looking for The Hitchhiker?
The SuperfriendsCaptain Planet?
TV Movies, shows & specials?

See our new Jabootu TV page!


 

 

Our most recent Nugget Updates:

Snitch'd.
Ken tattles on this markedly inept crime drama/home movie starring a particularly desperate housewife.
--  by Ken Begg (10/30/05)

From Justin to Kelly.
Guest reviewer Eva 'Pip' Vandergeld explains why she wishes these Americans had stayed idle.
--  by Eva 'Pip' Vandergeld (06/05/05)

 

___________________________________


COMMENTARY TRACK COMMENTARIES:

Commentary Track Commentaries:  Dracula vs. Frankenstein
A hilarious fieldtrip through the making of a camp classic, courtesy of producer Sam Sherman.
-by Ken Begg, 12/18/00

Commentary Track Commentaries:  Bats
Director Louis Morneau and actor Lou Diamond Philips discuss Bats, and Ken is there.
-by Ken Begg, 8/04/00

Commentary Track Commentaries:  The Holcraft Covenant
Frequent Jabootu punching bad John Frankenheimer provides his thoughts on Ken's favorite espionage flick.  Does he come clean?
-by Ken Begg, 6/24/00

 

ESSENTIALS:

Numeration of Nomenclature
Want to be the Ultimate Insider?  Just study this handy compendium of Jabootish jargon.  Then you'll be able to sneer with derision when some newcomer asks, "IITS?  What's that mean?"
-a compilation

 

MINI-REVIEWS:

10.5
It's a disaster, all right.
--  by Ken Begg (05/25/04)

A*P*E
Mammoth Monkey Mondays Month soldiers on!
-- by Ken Begg  09/16/02

Agent Red
Dolph Lundgren finally makes the scene.  
-by Ken Begg, 09/09/2001

Bimini Code
Bikinis...Adventures...Boredom...Mostly Boredom...
-by Ken Begg, 10/14/2000


Captain America I & II
The Star Spangled Avenger faces his most deadly foe -- bad TV movie adaptations!  
Part of Superhero Month!
-by Ken Begg, 05/04/2002

Chastity
Cher is a troubled free-spirit that has one wishing to remain a virgin, at least where this movie is concerned..
-by Ken Begg, 12/05/2004

Ken Blows His Stack Over Dante's Peak & Volcano
Two big budget movies with the same plot device battle to see which can be more moronic.  Which succeeds?  Find out here...
-by Ken Begg, 7/16/2000

 

Deathsport
Ken suits up with Badmovies.org, Cold Fusion Video & SciFilm to 
call foul on the cinematic future of sports. 
-- by Ken Begg 03/19/03

Gold of the Amazon Women
The golden age of the TV movie revealed!  
-by Ken Begg, 04/12/2001

Half Past Dead
Ken teams up with the Warden over at Prison Flicks.com to review the cinematic death penalty that is one of Steven Seagal's latest ventures.  Let's just say that we won't be recommending parole.
-- by Ken Begg (01/25/04)

Heavenly Bodies
I sort of lose site of the whole 'nugget' concept as I examine this fine example of the '80s Aerobics genre.  Which, I believe, is pretty much represented by this and Perfect.
-by Ken Begg, 8/18/2000

Hitler -- Dead or Alive
Three mugs decide to collect a million dollar bounty on Hitler.  That'll learn 'im.  
-by Ken Begg, 03/17/2001

Isn't She Great
You know you're in trouble when they can't get the punctuation of the film's title right.
-by Ken Begg, 9/15/2000

Twenty+ Things I Collectively Hate About
I Know What You Did Last Summer and I Still Know What You Did Last Summer
The Slasher Movie had a devastating impact on "horror" movies. For one thing, it almost destroyed the genre entirely...
-by Jason MacIsaac, 6/4/2000

Kill Squad
Martial arts mayhem at its worstest!!  
-by Ken Begg, 07/26/2001

King Kong Lives
Mammoth Monkey Mondays Month goes bananas!
-- by Ken Begg  09/23/02

Konga
Mammoth Monkey Mondays Month begins!
-- by Ken Begg, 09/02/02

Ten Things I Hate About The Lost World
When Lost World: Jurassic Park came out, some readers asked me if I intended to do a review of it. I said no. While the film annoyed me in many instances, it wasn’t nearly bad enough to qualify for a review.  Yet, the picture has idiocies galore. And the man to blame is Steven Spielberg...
-by Ken Begg, 10/1/99

The Mighty Gorga
Mammoth Monkey Mondays Month concludes!  Thank goodness!
-- by Ken Begg  09/30/02

The Mighty Kong
'Twas crappy animation and songs that killed the beast.
-by Ken Begg, 9/10/2000

Mighty Peking Man
Mammoth Monkey Mondays Month continues!
-- by Ken Begg, 09/09/02

Project Shadowchaser 3000
The always alluring Douglas Milroy kick things off with a mini-review (for us, anyway) of this Sci-Fi epic, a film that he fears contains one or two teeny-tiny scientific errors...
-by Douglas Milroy

Road House
Correspondent Jessica Ritchey returns to tear out Patrick Swayze's throat.  
-by Jessica Ritchey, 06/22/2002

The Skydivers
Another Coleman Francis epic hits the earth with a thud.
-by Ken Begg,(11/14/04)

Supergirl
Superman's cousin gets the kryptonite treatment from correspondent Jessica Ritchey.  
Part of Superhero Month!
-by Jessica Ritchey, 05/11/2002

Sweet November
Well, the title's half right:  Watching the film isn't very sweet, but it does seem to last a month..  
-by Ken Begg, 10/07/2001

Tycus
A killer comet threatens to destroy Earth.  If only it would do so before this movie destroyed my interest.
-by Ken Begg, 03/03/2001

 

Wild Women
It's junky jungle action as the B-Masters' Cabal looks at Sisters going it alone.
-- by Ken Begg 12/07/02

Xanadu
What killed the movie musical?  I think it was Xanadu.

-- by Jessica Ritchey 02/17/03

Zombie Lake
Hilarity, er, horror ensues when naked women mix it up with blood-drinking Nazi Zombies!!  
-by Ken Begg, 08/30/2001

 

 

MISCELLANY:

Netflix Month 2004!
The plan was to attempt to briefly review at least one disc on his Netflix list every day (more or less) in the month of July 2004.  Sadly, the experiment was cut short by the Great Computer Crash of Aught-Four.  There's still some stuff there, though.

Douglas Milroy's Video Vault
Let the rejoicing begin as one of Jabootu's most popular reviewers returns to the fold! Douglas takes us on a guided tour of his own private Video Hall of Horrors.  07/12/03

Ken & Jessica's B-Fest 2003 Dairies
The agony of the movies; the ecstasy of the sleep.
-- by Ken Begg & Guest reviewer Jessica Ritchey

Fall Season Movie 2002 Preview:
What I think about what's coming to theaters.
-- by Ken Begg, 09/03/02

G-Fest 2002:
Ken reports on this year's Godzilla convention.
by Ken Begg, 07/14/02

The 2002 American Film Market Report:
Available for distribution:  Lots o' crap!
by Ken Begg, 03/09/02


Ken Reflects on B-Fest 2002
Best B-Fest ever.

Lianna Skywalker Reflects on B-Fest 2002
She came, she saw, she drank a lot of Diet Coke.

Ken's New Orleans Worst Film Fest 2001 (NOWFF) Diary
Down in the Big Easy.

Ken Reflects on B-Fest 2001
I survive again.
-by Ken Begg, 01/30/01

Fall 2000 Movie Preview
I gaze into my crystal ball and attempt to foretell the fates of moviegoers for the next three months or so.
-by Ken Begg, 8/18/2000

Hegel and Jungle Hell; An Ontological Study
Read Andrew Muchoney's learned dissertation, inspired by B-Fest 2000.  Learn why vampires are self-destructive, aliens hate livestock, the history of acid baths, why the ending of Planet of the Apes is confusing and how to apply the teachings of Hegel, Locke, Kant, Sartre and other worthies to watching Bad Movies.
-by Andrew A. Muchoney, Esq.  6/24/00

Ken Reflects on B-Fest 2000
"This, truly, was the best B-Fest ever. Yet when I recall it, it will be the people I remember more than the films themselves. (Although it was a startlingly good line-up)..."
-by Ken Begg, 2/13/2000

Unapix Home Video
I was heartened when a catalog from Unapix Home Entertainment popped up at the public library where I work.   I felt safe grabbing this item, as it featured videos that our media librarians were unlikely to add to our collection. Filled with lurid and charmingly silly video box photos, this catalog, aimed at video store owners, sported the kind of stuff that can still cheer up the jaded B-Movie fan.  Rip-offs of successful movies and former stars and near stars now caught in Cinema Purgatory abounded.  So here’s some things to keep an eye out for when next you visit your local video outlet.
-by Ken Begg, 1/10/2000

Ken Begg's Picks o' Halloween Flicks
"This was something I did as a lark, somewhere around fifteen years ago. I worked my butt off for two months (unfortunately, it grew back, larger than ever) and succeeded in finishing it in time to hand out a few copies the week before Halloween. It was the first lengthy thing I ever wrote. Through the years, I would occasionally update it, but mostly ignored it. We meant to post it for last Halloween, but I never got the necessary scut work done. "
-by Ken Begg, 10/15/99

 

ODDMENTS:

A Night With the Boys
Travel back in time to the 1950s and join the action as some average joes get together for their weekly poker game.
-by Ken Begg, 7/16/00

Odyssey Couple
"…Can a prissy Captain and a crew full of swine make it back to ancient Greece without driving each other crazy?"
-by Ken Begg, 10/1/99

"Hook, Line and Sinker": The Jabootu Banner Contest
It never seems to fail that an audience knows what works better than producers usually do, and Jabootu's banner contest is no exception.  See what the  psychological profile of a likely first-time Jabootu reader looks like to us, in the latest blitz of Jabootuite advertising.
-brought to you by the Jabootu Staff

 

READER FORUMS:
Readers of this site assemble to bash a movie.

Readers' Forum:  Spiders
A tangled web we weave with the last of our three giant monster movies.
11/04/00

Readers' Forum:  Crocodile
A distinguished panel notes that Tobe Hooper has apparently seen The Blair Witch Project..
10/29/00

Readers' Forum:  Octopus
Correspondents David Fullam, Kurt and Diana vonRoeschlaub, Fred Robinson and Zandor Varkov join with Ken in discussing this first of three giant monster flicks.
10/22/00

Readers' Forum:  The Sky's on Fire
Correspondents Apostic and Kurt vonRoeschlaub join with Ken in discussing this disastrous disaster flick.
-by Ken Begg, 7/16/00

 

VIDEO CHEESE:
A monthly magazine examining B-Movies of various quality.

NOTE:  Missing VC issues due to the Great Computer Crash of Aught-Four.

July 2005 Video Cheese:
T-Fest!! * The Punisher * Rent-a-Cop * Book Beat: Blockbuster by Thomas Shone
-- by Ken Begg

June 2004 Video Cheese
Curse of the Komodo * The Last Samurai * Mortal Kombat * BOOK REVIEW SPECIAL:  Megalodon 

-- by Ken Begg (06/30/04)

May 2004 Video Cheese
Dark Waters *
Goddess of Love

-- by Ken Begg (05/31/04)

April 2004 Video Cheese
2004 Summer Movie Preview *
Wild Women of Wongo

-- by Ken Begg (04/30/04)

March 2004 Video Cheese
2004 American Film Market Report * Black GunnRed Water * Strays

-- by Ken Begg (03/28/04)

Jan/Feb 2004 Video Cheese
* 2004 Academy Awards Recap * 2004 Spring Movie Preview * Comic Book: The Movie  
* Kaliman In the Sinister World of Humanon *
Shark Zone
-- by Ken Begg; additional content by correspondent Jessica Ritchey

December 2003 Video Cheese
Nude for Satan * Schlock! The Secret History of American MoviesStorm Trooper 

-- by Ken Begg  (12/31/03)

November 2003 Video Cheese
Antibody * Code Name: Alpha * The Giant Spider Invasion 

-- by Ken Begg

October 2003 Video Cheese
Girls Are For Loving * Hollywood Homicide * The Mad Monster * The Strangler of Blackmoor Castle

-- by Ken Begg


September 2003 Video Cheese
2003 Fall Movie Preview * The Abductors * Tintorera   

-- by Ken Begg 09/30/03

July/August 2003 Video Cheese
Elvira's Haunted Hills * Ginger * Ice Crawlers * She Demons  

-- by Ken Begg 08/03/03

June 2003 Video Cheese
Body Count * Double Platinum * Invincible * The Specialist  

-- by Ken Begg  06/30/03

May 2003 Video Cheese
2003 Fall TV Preview * 2003 Cannes Film Fest Product Roundup
Greatest '70s Cop Shows
* Sabretooth * Vincent Price:  The Sinister Image  

-- by Ken Begg


April 2003 Issue
2003 Summer Movie Preview * Black Dog * Day It Came to EarthStudent Nurses  

-- by Ken Begg

March 2003 Issue
2003 Academy Awards Diary * Jurassic Park III * Python II * Sasquatch 
* Xanadu
-- by Ken Begg; Bonus Special Report by Jessica Ritchey

February 2003 Issue
2003 American Film Market  * 2003 Insect Fear Festival * Barbarian Queen * Eye See You

-- by Ken Begg

January 2003 Issue
Legend of Wolf Mountain * Naughty Stewardesses * Scream of the Wolf * Storm Tracker

-- by Ken Begg

December 2002 Issue
Bucktown * The Glove  * Irma Vep  * The Mad Executioners  

November 2002 Issue
The Rats * Spiders II:  Breeding Ground * Tail Sting * They Crawl

October 2002 Issue
Crocodile 2: Death Swamp * Fangs * Fathom * Modesty Blaise

September 2002 Issue
Crocodile * King Dinosaur

August 2002 Issue
:
The Flying Serpent * Hard Cash * The Human Beeing * Kong Island

July 2002 Issue:
Beneath Loch Ness * The Crater Lake Monster * Octopus 2: River of Death * Shark Hunter

June 2002 Issue
:
Boa * Creepy Crawlers * The Mysterious Magician * 2 + 5:  Mission Hydra

May 2002 Issue:
The Bat Whispers * Batman and Robin (1949) * Batwoman


April 2002 Issue:
Arachnid * Cassandra Crossing * Raptor

March 2002 Issue:
The Mighty Jungle * Robotrix * Santo vs. the Martian Invasion

February 2002 Issue:
The Fat Spy * Snowbeast * Venomous 

January 2002 Issue:
The Annihilators * Blood Surf * Curse of the Screaming Dead * Terror in the Swamp

December 2001 Issue:
Legends of Kung Fu -- (a ten film set)

November 2001 Issue:
Battle Beneath the Earth * Everyone Says I Love You * The In Crowd * The Lost Idol

October 2001 Issue:
Capture of Bigfoot * Fangs * Fraulein Devil * Honeybaby

September 2001 Issue:
Bog * Hollywood Boulevard * Planet of the Vampires * Teenage Dreams

August 2001 Issue:
Deadbolt * The Dirt Bike Kid * The Invisible Barbarian * Python

July 2001:
Black Caesar * Five Finger of Death * Mantis in Lace * Stranger From Venus

June 2001:
Cotton Comes to Harlem * Ghost Chase * Girl Hunters * Night Caller From Outer Space * Slaughter's Big Ripoff

May 2001:
Mad Love * Beast With Five Fingers * The Crawling Hand * Hands of Orlac * Demonoid

April 2001:
American Pimp * The Cosmic Man * Quicksand * Slaughter

March 2001:      
The Big Combo * Detroit 9000 * Horror Hotel * Teenage Monster * Unknown Island


February 2001:      
Les Vampires * The Pack * PrettyKill * Running Time 

January 2001:      
Hercules in New York * Shadow of Chikara * Shaft in Africa * A Time for Romance 

December 2000:      
Final Justice * Final Voyage * Mercenaries * The Storm Riders 

November 2000:      
Blobermouth * Bloody Pit of Horror * Cleopatra Jones

October 2000:      
Chamber of Horrors * Giant From the Unknown * Space Thing

September 2000:      
Dinosaurus! * Face The Evil * Kronos * Nude on the Moon * Switchblade Sisters

(Be ever vigilant for new information to appear here!)