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B-Fest Diary 2001

-by Ken Begg

One night at B-Fest makes a hard man humble.
Not much between despair and ecstasy.
One night at B-Fest and the tough guys tumble.
I must be careful in this company.
Andy Borntreger's sitting behind me.

This year’s report is dedicated to the reader who came up to me at B-Fest and found me brain-addled and hence quite rude, if only by omission. I could have at least spent some time talking to you, sir, and didn’t. (Or maybe I could have remembered your name.) I apologize. Please understand that I failed to get my customary pre-Fest sleep, and that I’m always a bit freaked to meet an actual person who deigns to read my stuff. (Assuming you can properly refer to ‘both times’ as ‘always,’ anyway.) Those are just excuses, of course, and I’ll do better next year should we meet again. Certainly feel free to come down and raid the Tower of Snacks in 2002.

Well, another year’s event has come and gone.

Last year I was paranoid and spent much effort arranging things for the incoming attendees. This year I was too lazy, but – mostly -- got away with it. Note to self: Be more diligent in aught-two.

The People

For the second time, a contingent of members of the B-Masters’ Cabal made appearances. This is easily the best part of the event. First I’d like to say ‘hi’ to those who couldn’t attend this year, and send my wishes that they will make next January.

In this regard, the greatest general disappointment was the inability of our Australian member Liz to be able to come in. My biggest goal for 2002 is her attendance. So prepare to be pestered, m’dear.

Previous attendees who couldn’t be there this year include Rob & Al from the currently dormant Oh the Humanity site. These fellows I probably missed the most, because they’ve been coming the longest and thus I have a longer relationship with them than the others. Guys, I hope to see you in New Orleans this year, and double so for next B-Fest.

Readers who have attended before but didn’t make it in this year included Joel Mathis – who I should have been more diligent in checking in with -- and Sue Wright, who has previously attended twice, but also couldn’t make it. Joe Bannerman and I will strive to ensure that she can come next year.

Of the Cabal, our patriarch Dr. Freex was MIA, as was Scott Hamilton from Stomp Tokyo. Much sadness was the result. (I’d like to thank the latter, though, for the kind gift of the MST3K show lambasting Final Justice. I watched it Monday morning and was it was a delight.) Jeff Stanford, another prominent Stomp Tokyo contributor, also failed to be able to return this year. See you soon, guys, I hope. I’m also hoping to meet the fellows from Cold Fusion Video and Teleport City at an upcoming event.

Jabootu Contributors Douglas Milroy, a previous attendee, and Jason MacIsaac also couldn’t make it. I hope to have some of their work on the site this year, and to see them some time in the future. Keep well, boys.

The lovely Diana vonRoeschlaub couldn’t make it, although for the happiest of reasons. In this case, the recent birth of her and husband Kurt’s beautiful daughter Claire. Hopefully you’ll make it again some time, Diana, perhaps in eighteen years when Claire comes in for her first show.

My oldest comrade, Andrew Muchoney, also sadly couldn’t attend.

I honestly wish they all could have made it. Still, I’d be lying if I said that it wasn’t easier to set things up for a smaller group. (This isn’t a wish for small groups, merely a search for the silver lining of this particular dark cloud.) As well, it was easier to spend ‘quality’ time with each person.

Next, let me note the attendance of my co-worker Susan Franke and her husband, marking their second time at the show. I sincerely hope they had a great time (although I fear I did little more than stop by them to say hi to them). Also, my old high school associate Julie Quandt and her husband Tim made a second appearance, flying in from Iowa (!). Again, I didn’t spend much time with them -- so much for my supposedly heartfelt resolution from a couple of years ago! -- but at least they were able to have a post-B-Fest dinner with my Jabootu partner Paul Smith and his wife Holly, as well as our mutual friend Jeff Witham.

Prior B-Fest Organizer Matt Bradford flew in for the first Fest of the post-Bradford era. He kept his presence quiet, probably for fear of being swarmed with rabid fans, ala the Beatles in A Hard Day’s Night. Still, it was nice to see him again and to shake his hand.

My co-worker, pal and B-Fest vet Lori Syzminski also made the scene. Unfortunately, she had to work on Saturday (boo!) and thus made what might be called an early exit at about two in the morning. Lori is a dear and her presence, as always, was a delight. Meanwhile, my fellows were quite impressed with my hobnobbing with such a lovely and charming young lady.

As always, loyal Jabootu Techmaster Paul Smith made the scene. Which is only fitting, as there wouldn’t be a Jabootu site without him (in several ways), and if not then the various B-Masters probably wouldn’t be attending. Kudos to you, Paul.

Jeff Witham is one of my oldest friends, and just one of the world’s nicest guys. He’s been attending the shows with me now forever (well, ten or more years, anyway), and it’s always great to see him. A slightly premature Happy 40th Birthday, my friend, and mucho congratulations on the recent adoption of your beautiful daughter.

Prominent Jabootuian Kurt vonRoeschlaub, unlike his better half, was able to return. He also scraped up a friend to come with him, a delightful fellow named Mike Burke. Meeting people like Kurt has easily been the greatest benefit of starting our site. I just hope he got half as much enjoyment out of attending as I did having him there. (Just don’t try and steal Diana’s Superdawg shirt, though, you sly devil.)

B-Notes proprietor and fellow Jabootuite The Amazin’ Apostic (I’m still maintaining the code of silence on his identity, until he says otherwise) came in again. As always, it was a pleasure to share his company. Apostic suffers from being perhaps the quietest of our members, although his extremely droll sense of humor is a terrific addition to the often rowdier joking of his associates. In many ways, he’s the mirror opposite and counterpart to Andrew Borntreger. As such they complement each other perfectly. Apostic also usually has by far the most thoughtful things to say when analyzing movies. I certainly look forward to his remarks on Greaser’s Palace. Excepting perhaps for the estimable Dr. Freex, Apostic is also the greatest scholar, B-Movie and otherwise, that the Cabal boasts. And did I mention what a nice fellow he is? Because I should. (Although he’s also sneaky, secreting an inanely large amount of money in the meager chamber I afforded him to rest his weary self. You shouldn’t have, my friend, but thanks.) Unfortunately, his delightful wife Jo didn’t attend, but I swear we’ll drag her out here someday.

Joe Bannerman (Opposable Thumbs Film) truly came into his own this year. He attended last year but was fairly quiet, due to his supposed awe at being among all these website ‘giants.’ (!!) With his well-deserved induction into the Cabal, however, Joe now stands amongst us all as our (at the least) equal. Like all of my fellow Cabalists, Joe is one of the nicest fellows imaginable. And, needless to say, sharp as a tack with always ready with a joke. He contributions to the quip marathon this year were among the brightest.

Chris Holland, co-founder of Stomp Tokyo, and his associate Chris Magyar also attended. (The former, by the way, took compulsively extensive notes on this year’s event. Look to him to provide the definitive account of B-Fest 2001.) Stomp Tokyo is perhaps the most prominent site in the field – although Andy Borntreger’s Badmovies.org is right up there – and the guys there are the finest bunch of folks you could hope to meet. I got to spend more time with these two than in our previous meetings, and it was a sincere pleasure. Chris was also able to fulfill his dream of enjoying a Superdawg. One more item to cross off on the "Before I Die" list.

Oh, and the twosome also saved our traditional front row seats for us ere we arrived. For that alone I am forever in their debt.

A special thanks to Andy Borntreger. Andrew is a greater guy than you can know without actually meeting him, and I seriously could not have gotten anything done without his help. Everything that worked this year was his doing. That he would spend the whole weekend driving people around – after motoring up himself from Atlanta to attend – is just going beyond the call. Which doesn’t even get into his efforts to keep his car running after it sprung a transmitter fluid leak. Even at the very end, he got up at six in the morning on Monday, after a few hours of sleep, to drive the two Chrises (Chrisi?) out to Midway Airport on his way back to Georgia. (He also forced money on me – something I generally try to avoid, but you try to tell a six-foot plus psycho Marine ‘no.’ Especially one that knows the Crab and the Squid.)

I can imagine what a massive suck-up the above descriptions sound, but I’m serious. I just cannot imagine meeting a better, funnier or nicer bunch of folks. Meanwhile, the rare opportunity to talk to those few others who ‘speak the language’ was delightful beyond my ability to describe.

Prolog

People made an effort to spend more time here this year. B-Fest is great, but it doesn’t allow for the level of personal interaction you might assume. Unfortunately, not everyone was in at the same time, but there was significant overlapping. Moreover, since I live here, I got to spend time with everyone. Which was very nice indeed.

Joe Bannerman arrived Thursday afternoon at O’Hare, followed a few hours later by Apostic. We went to dinner at a nice steak place called Jameson’s Charhouse, and then spent the night yakking and, surprise, watching stupid videos at my place. Vampire Men of the Lost Planet by Al Adamson was as especial hit. I tried to excuse myself fairly early to get some sleep, but it was not to be. I again got up when Andrew Borntreger arrived circa 4:00 AM. He had an amusing Trip from Hell type story to tell, which he did with great relish.

Kurt and Mike came in fairly early on Friday, followed by Jeff at noon. Once Andrew repaired his car (which was a tremendous pain in the ass for him, as he could barely reach the hose, and I lacked any decent tools), we loaded up with coolers, bedding and the Tower of Snacks. Then it was off to Superdawg for a last hot meal. After this we headed down to Evanston, arriving around 4:30 in the afternoon.

Under the new proprietor, Justin Vader, B-Fest allowed sponsorships this year. The Cabal got one as a group, for Reform School Girl, while Jabootu also ordered one. However, and oddly you might think, I didn’t know for what film. I play ‘Stud’ B-Fest, where you don’t find out what they’re showing that year. Therefore, since I didn’t want to look at the schedule, Paul picked a film. And a doozy at that. We were all very proud.

Meanwhile, while I was glad to ‘give something back,’ to B-Fest, it wasn’t very much anyway. For the seventy-dollar fee, you got two free tickets, which would have cost forty bucks anyway. In fact, Chris Holland had an extra, so while I gave my spare to Jeff (who in turn bought me this year’s T-Shirt), Chris donated his to Paul when he arrived. Thanks again, Chris. Thus we sponsored the film for really about ten bucks.

The Two Chrisi for their part arrived at Midway Airport earlier that day. They were picked up by E. Mark ‘Skip’ Mitchell ("Mitchell!"), a local fellow who contributes to Joe Bannerman’s site. Skip attended the event, as did his wife George and their friend Jennie. I hope they all had a great time, and it was nice to meet them. Anyway, they arrived at the Norris University before us, and, as previously mentioned, secured our seats. As with last year, Stomp Tokyo gave away very cool plastic tumblers. This year’s, in fact, glowed in the dark. They also donated videos and stuff for raffles.

So we settled in, gear unpacked and seats chosen.

The Main Event

Times should be taken to be approximate.

6:00: The first film up was the Cabal sponsored film, Reform School Girl. This was your typical silly J.D. flick. The innocent girl sent to jail for a boy’s crime, whereupon she is threatened by the school toughs. There’s the fragile nutty girl who inspired the Fest’s first trademark line ("I’m having a baby!"), Eddie "Kookie" Byrnes – billed as Edward Byrnes, well la de da -- as the psycho guy, drag races, cat fights, make-out sessions in a junk yard, etc. The excessively naïve psychiatrist guy trying to help the heroine was a hoot. Even aside from Mr. Byrnes, the cast has some notable B-Movie names.  The lead good girl is played by Gloria Castillo, whose short film career began with a prominent role in Night of the Hunter (!) before descending into junk like Teenage Monster and Invasion of the Saucer Men.  Meanwhile, one of the bad girls was played by scream queen Yvette Vickers, famous for her sexy turns in Attack of the Giant Leeches and Attack of the 50 Foot Woman.   Seeing her name in the film's IMDB listing make me feel vindicated, since I asked at least three people if that was Vickers and failed to receive any confirmation.  A very fun film.

7:15: Next was this year’s trademark film, Greaser’s Palace. This is an insane allegory about Jesus and the Catholic Church and such, directed by Robert Downey, Sr., who apparently has drugs issues of his own. The film is strange and a half. It’s a western and Jesus is a zoot-suited hipster who arrives via parachute. He’s played by Allan Arbus, the guy who was Sidney Freedman, the recurring psychiatrist character on TV’s M.A.S.H. The Holy Ghost is a guy in a sheet. There’s a woman character who’s just horribly tormented by God (sort of a John Huston-y old man) throughout the film, generally being cut to every ten minutes so that we can see an arrow or bullet fly into her. It’s all very weird, and I tended to just bemusedly watch the antics rather than trying to figure out what it all meant. Making this somewhat more difficult was Andrew Borntreger, who had been searching for this film for years without knowing what it was called. Andy can be, uh, energetic at the best of times, and this film riled him up to fantastic new heights. Expect to see the film appear ASAP at his sight. Personally, I thought it interesting, but I really don’t need to see it again, and certainly not on a regular basis. Meanwhile, Apostic had the best handle on what many of the characters represented, so hopefully he’ll delve into same in his review of the Fest.

8:50: The Blood of Dracula. A female teenager (cough, cough) is sent to a reform school where she faces many of the same problems as the Heroine of Reform School Girl. Moreover, an Evil Teacher decides to use her in her Mad Experiments, which supposedly are meant to Help All Mankind. Although how turning a student into a feral fanged killer is meant to Help Mankind is left to our imaginations. Needless to say, Dracula has (very) little to do with the proceedings, nor is there all that much blood. I hadn’t seen this film in probably twenty years, so it was kind of fun. Watch also for the featured show stopping tune Puppy Love -- no, not that one -- which includes hip teens bumping couch cushions together, resulting in car horn sounds.  (Hey, you tell me.)  If the film's plot sounds familiar, it’s because it’s a naked distaff rip-off of I Was a Teenage Werewolf.

10:00: Cleopatra Jones and the Casino of Gold. The second and, sadly, last of Tamara Dobson’s Cleopatra Jones movies, this is the film Jabootu sponsored. (Good choice, Paul.) Cleo’s in Hong Kong looking for a drug dealer who turns out to be lesbian crime lord Stella Stevens (!!). As opposed to lesbian crime lord Shelley Winters, from the first film. The exotic locale adds an epic note to the proceedings, as does Ms. Dobson’s wardrobe, which usually needs to be seen to be believed. If then. There’s also a yummy looking Chinese kick-ass sidekick. In a great scene, he beats up like five or more guys despite having her arms strapped to her sides. Meanwhile, Norman Fell is the obligatory Ineffectual White Guy Boss who can only fume at his inability to control his agent. Great stuff, and, amazingly, the first Blaxploitation film I can ever remember seeing at B-Fest. Hopefully there are more where that came from.

11:45: The yearly appearance of my B-Fest bête noire, What is Communism? I and others of a similar inclination fled the theater ere it began, rather than sitting there repressing our rage as in years past. While there was no avoiding it entirely, since it’s become a running joke during all the Fests (yelling "USA! USA!" at anything even remotely jingoistic, for example), this helped to keep my blood pressure down this year.

12:15 saw the first appearance of the perennial B-Fest staple The Wizard of Speed and Time. Simply wonderful, year after year after year.

12:30: Plan 9 from Outer Space. The end all and be all of B-Fest. Despite this I slept through the latter part of it. You can just see a movie so many dozens of times (and I’m being literal here) before it loses its edge. Others can describe it more freshly.

1:45: The French period short (har har) Gavotte returns. A pre-revolution era French midget who is treated poorly by regularly sized people tries to keep hold of a cushion as the last vestige of his pride. This brings him into conflict with another midget seeking the same validation. First midget wins, second midget ends up stuffed in a dormer seat. It’s all about how the ‘little people’ prey on each other while the real enemy is the callous aristocracy. Or something. It’s all pretty weird and funny. Andrew, who has a thing about midgets, ran up on stage and watched the short transfixed.

1:55: Gorgo. Despite being featured on MST3K during its occasionally irresponsible Sci-Fi Channel days, Gorgo is a pretty decent giant monster movie. The acting is quite good, and the complete lack of any romantic subplot is much appreciated. The special effects can be cheesy, but what the hey. They do have the monster trash much of London, and what more do we want? Moreover, the film’s ‘Momma on the Loose’ storyline has proven quite influential, from Gappa The Triphibian Monster to The Lost World: Jurassic Park. Still and all, I just got the film on DVD and had watched it recently. Therefore I continued to nap here.

3:15: I hadn’t seen War of the Colossal Beast for a while, so I roused myself for this one. Boy, Glenn Manning really got screwed big time. First he goes off his nut as The Amazing Colossal Man – and all for trying to save a guy’s life – then he takes a bazooka hit, falls off a dam and ends up a humongous mental case with half his face scraped off. Found down in Mexico, the now feral Glenn is brought back to the States and tied up Gulliver fashion in an airport hanger. Needless to say, this proves a less than wise call, especially since no one ever seems to be watching over him, and he breaks free. Eventually he momentarily comes to his senses and commits suicide via electrical wires. (A popular form of death for giants; the 50 Foot Woman went out the same way.) In some theatrical prints, the film briefly went to color as Manning was being electrocuted. Not so with this print, which stayed black and white. A nice choice, I thought, and the kind of that thing that’s extremely easy to score japes off.

4:20: A segment of pornographic cartoons drawn in sort of an old Max Fleisher style. Not my bag, I personally found this getting old rather quickly. The bestiality didn’t really do much for me either.

4:25: Invasion of the Bee Girls return yet again to B-Fest. This is really a pretty enjoyable film, but it was shown twice (!) in 1997 and appeared again in 1998. Plus I’ve seen it more than once aside from that. So I went back to sleep.

6:00: At this point I was too exhausted to rouse myself, which is too bad, because the next film was Solarbabies. I wish I had seen this, as it’s one of only two movies this year I hadn’t seen before, the other being Greaser’s Palace. This kind of situation is the only thing that makes me consider giving up playing Stud. When you pick your sleeping slots in advance you have a lot better control over things. Anyway, one of the others guys, I’m sure, will report on how this worked.

7:50: The return of Wild in the Streets, a pretty deft satire about a rock star who helps the ‘60s Youth Movement take control of the Government. It features a droll and surprisingly cynical script, a pretty decent cast (Shelley Winters is used especially well) and lead Christopher Jones can actually sing as the rock star. This is surprisingly witty stuff and very well made. Even the songs are quite good, not exactly a given with this kind of film. Unfortunately, it was marred when one of the middle reels of the film was played upside down and with the soundtrack played backwards! Better luck next time.

9:25: The She-Creature. Another ‘50s cheese classic, this features hypnotist Chester Morris and his control over a young woman he loves, if in a rather selfish manner. He is able to call forth her prior lives, in particular a pre-historic humanoid sea creature, who comes complete with big, scaly breasts. (The classic monster suit is by cult icon Paul Blaisdell.) To further his career, Morris predicts murders and then calls forth the She-Creature to carry them out. This is the kind of thing B-Fest is built around.

10:45: The Wizard of Speed & Time returns for an encore.

10:50: The Undertaker and His Pals is a jet black comedy that somehow straddles the line between being excessively cruel and quite endearing. It’s almost a miraculous balance, particularly for me, who doesn’t enjoy cinematic meanness. Sort of a knockoff on Sweeny Todd, it features the titled characters gruesomely murdering various young woman. The Undertaker then scams the families for huge burial fees, while the ‘pals’ run the greasiest spoon ever and serve up servings of their victims. This leads to atrocious puns, like carving up a woman named Lamb and offering Leg of Lamb as the daily special. The film also features what is undoubtedly the most inept detective hero ever. The victims tend to be any woman he locks lips with. This is a situation he barely seems to notice, even when he sends one woman down to eat in the diner, where she immediately meets a horrid demise. This film can be quite mean spirited. One woman is operated on while alive and conscious; another is facially beaten to death with a chain. Yet somehow the film remains more comical than anything. The end credits, featuring the actors rising from their horrible deaths and winking at the audience, is a particularly nice touch.

11:50: Atomic Submarine features the extraordinarily cheap ass adventures of the title vessel searching for what’s sinking artic passenger subs (!!) in the futuristic year of 1960-something. To our complete lack of surprise, it’s an alien (underwater) spaceship manned (sort of) by a phallic Cyclops-type deal. Given the demands of the script, the film is woefully under funded. The monster is kind of cool, but the subs and spaceship look pretty cheesy. Also amusing are the curlicue routes the sub takes pursuing the alien. It looks like their course was plotted by Lt. Spirograph. The main characters are a red blooded hero and his despised pinko pacifist associate. In the end, the latter gives up his laughably utopian views. Some people have criticized this as excessively right wing, but really, would it be logical to remain a pacifist when aliens are trying to destroy the planet? The film is also notable for some rather gory violence, including a dude who gets his face melted off. This is less surprising when you consider the film was made by the people responsible for Fiend Without a Face. Watch for the cameo by Joi Lansing, who played Boots in the infamous Hillbillies in the Haunted House.

1:00: Break.

There was a short in here somewhere, but I had run downstairs to grab a cheeseburger. Check with my associates’ reviews for details.

1:30: When I returned, I found that the Social Menace flick Assassin of Youth (aka Marihuana, Weed with Roots in Hell) had begun. This is a typical early ‘30s anti-marijuana piece, filled with racy goings on and even a little of the nudity prevalent in these things. It’s all about what you’d expect, but better than many others of its ilk. It’s pretty enjoyable, actually. Watch for the weird turn by either Margaret Hamilton or her greatest impersonator as the malignant town gossip who causes the innocent heroine much grief.

3:00: Our second to last feature was Hammer Studio’s Dracula Has Risen From the Grave. My thoughts on this film are recorded elsewhere. They originally were supposed to show Frankenstein Must Be Destroyed, which the Stomp Tokyo guys reviewed as a tie-in only to learn that it wasn’t being shown. Read their review anyway.

4:30: The last film was another Toho classic, in this case Mothra. Highlights include the tiny fairy princesses, their terrific Mothra song, and the scene where Maser cannons set fire to Mothra’s cocoon before she emerges as a butterfly. I missed Godzilla, but this was great stuff.

And that, as they say, was that.

Epilog:

Most of us headed over to my Mom’s house for pizza and beer afterward. We watched some dumb movies (we just can’t get enough) and eventually folks started keeling over. The advantage was that I got back at my place – taking Joe and Mark with me – and was asleep at a fairly decent hour, around midnight. Even better was that the earliest people to split that day were Kurt and Mike, who had a flight out of O’Hare at one in the afternoon. That meant I got to sleep until about eight or nine, which was a lifesaver.

 

Following this, we eventually all ended up back at my place. This was a fun time, with most of us being able to spend the afternoon together before Jeff, Mark and finally Joe (who unfortunately had gotten a pretty bad cold or flu worked up by this time) had to make flights before four and seven o’clock. I really had a much better time this year than last, first because I was fairly well rested (I seem to remember getting about four hours of sleep on last year’s Saturday), and second because I ran less than half as many trips to the airport. Last year I would drop in on the fun for ten minutes before beginning the next circuit. This was much better.

The guys left at my place Sunday night were Chris Holland, Chris Magyar and Andy Borntreger. We yakked at great length (perhaps too great, considering that these three had to travel early the next morning) and, of course, watched bad movies. Even Andrew Muchoney was able to make the scene for a short bit.

It was also Sunday night that Chris Holland finally got to go to Superdawg. He has that PBS show on hot dog places across the country, and apparently plans to visit each and every one of them. He also bought one of their stylish statues of Superdawg and the Mrs. for a computer top decoration. This was a great night, for me at least, especially as Chris one and two were among the guys I’ve spent the least amount of time with. Finally about 2:30 in the morning we hit the hay. The guys then got up at six, with Andy driving the other two out to Midway Airport before heading back to Atlanta.

This was one of the best B-Fests ever, I thought. The line-up was quite solid (thanks to Justin and all of his associates). Meanwhile, the extra time to hang out with the guys was simply great. I look forward to New Orleans in June (and the Godzilla convention being held a mile from my trailer [!!] in July), but B-Fest will always be my baby. I hope everyone wants to come back again next year.

In closing, if I may be so bold, I’d like to nominate some films I’d love to see one or more of at next year’s B-Fest. The following, for instance, are available through Swank:

Godzilla 2000 / The Lonely Lady / The Swarm / Sextette / Them! (This would be great!) / Lambada / Deathwish III / Meteor / Exorcist II: The Heretic / Forbidden Dance / Four Skulls of Jonathan Drake / The Ghost and Mr. Chicken / Hercules (the 1983 Ferrigno version!) / Howard the Duck / Invasion of the Star Creatures / Island of Terror (Peter Cushing) / Kitten With a Whip / The Land Unknown / Mac and Me / Mad Love (Peter Lorre) / Matilda (1978) / The Mummy (1959) / The Night Walker / Roller Boogie (!!) / Starship Invasions / Strange Brew / Superfly / Tarantula / Theatre of Blood / Walking Tall (Joe Don Baker) / Yor: Hunter from the Future / Agent for H.A.R.M. / Amityville Horror 3 / Attack of the 50 Foot Woman / The Beast with Five Fingers / Black Caesar / Brides of Dracula / Captive Wild Woman / Concorde – Airport ’79 / Count Yorga, Vampire / Curse of the Demon / 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T / Foxy Brown / Friday Foster / Lost Horizon (1973) / Last Movie / Mutant Species / On Deadly Ground / Switchblade Sisters / Targets / Xanadu / Zabriskie Point

Meanwhile, here are some Kit Parker titles that would be of interest:

Monster of the Piedras Blancas / How to Make a Monster / Claw Monsters / Cape Canaveral Monsters / Unknown Terror / Deadly Invasion: Killer Bee Nightmare / Playgirls and the Vampire / Back from the Dead / The Maze / Missile to the Moon / She Devil (if the 1957 one) / Thousand Eyes of Dr. Mabuse / Tobor the Great / Wicker Man / Wizard of Mars 

In closing, I’d just like to say: God help us, in the Future.