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Greenhornet
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
1791 Posts |
 Posted - 06/28/2005 : 4:10:43 PM
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Since I commented on the JLA and superhero shows in general in my last review, I'll skip ahead. But be warned, I'm going to use my Three Part style of review as I had done before. (I promass not to take too long to finnish)
DC Comics Kids Collection DVD:
JUSTICE LEAGUE
The Brave And The Bold
OK! Four episodes, two storys and two "special features"; not bad for 12+ bucks when you consider that it has two of the best storys: THE BRAVE AND THE BOLD (which Heckler King has already done. Good work, pal!) and INJUSTICE FOR ALL, which is my target for tonight. (I'll introduce some of the lesser-known charicters as they appier, but there are some old friends I mean "FOES" who are in this review)
Let's start with the cover: The picture and colors are nice, but there is something I don't understand: The seven heros and heroines are standing in a circle, shoveing thier right fists together and something is GLOWING at the point of contact. Are they activateing thier "Wonder Twin powers" or something? (This may not be as far-fetched as it sounds. I will explane later) There's something else, The Martian Manhunter has his back to us and Wonder Woman looks at him as if she were PISSED. What's that about? Also, Hawkgirl looks a bit chunky; maybe she should lay off the birdseed brownies.
On to the episode!
The whole top floor of the Lexcorp building is filled with a green light. Lex Luthor says "So this is how it ends" and holds up a piece of Kryptonite the size of a coffie cup and gloats to the postrate Superman, saying that he's "rather disappointed". (So now we know; EVERY petty crook in the DC universe has a chunk of Kryptonite because half a pound can light up a room the size of a city block! No wonder it's so easy to find!) Lex apparently hasn't read The Evil Overlord List because he starts bragging about the weapons he sold to "the terrorists" (Great team name, guys!) and he names names. To Lex's amazement, Supes stands up and looks mildly annoyed when LL shoves the rock at him.
Surprise! It's The Martian Manhunter! His back-up is Batman and Green Lantern. (I love clever stuff like this, it makes these cartoons worth watching)
GL grabs the GreenK with his ring and Bats announces "Mission accomplished" into a small microphone. (I noticed that Batman holds the mike between his middle fingers, so that it looks like he's shooting Luthor "the bird". Was that intentional?) The Martian then mocks LL's "public image", but Luthor has a back-up plan.
He reaches into his coat and I can't beleave what he pulls out: it looks like he's kept a souvenier from his days with the Legion Of Doom! He holds a remote control with the magic "Single Button That Does Anything"! This one calls up a flying machine (Look, I don't know what else to call it, it's unlike any aircraft I've ever seen. I seriously doubt that it could even fly!) that starts shooting laser beams. As the heros JUST STAND THERE, Lex climbs into the....THING and shoots a "Badguy Rocket" at them. I know it's a Badguy Rocket because it flys straight at them, then turns up to blast the ceiling and drop a little junk on them. His second rocket also a waste of time and money.
And GL just stands there like a goof. Do the words "POWER RING" mean anything to you, John?
Lex gets away while the top few floors of his building blows up. TNT Cement, I guess. But, Green Lantern has finally remembered that he has that ring and had formed a protective bubble around the team. Yeah great job, been takeing pointers from Aquaman, haven't you? Meanwhile, the REAL Superman has taken up pursuit. Luthor fires a couple more rockets and one knocks Supes down, but it seems that he's just a little dazed. (Personaly, I like a semi-powerful Superman and think that his power levels in the Fourtys are "just right") It's lucky for Luthor that Superman is tough, because LL has a heart attack shortly after that. Lex almost crashes but Supes carrys the what-cha-ma-call-it to a rooftop. When Superman opens the canopy, his arch-foe groans and collapses. Kal El's eyes widen as he says "Lex? Lex!" and I'm reminded that in some versions the two grew up together and were once the best of friends. Thinking that way makes this a good moment.
FADE OUT
Ah, the opening. I really like the music, the 3D figures and the light effects. The best are Wonder Woman, lit almost entirely by the "bullet sparks" on her bracelets and Green Lantern standing in the light of his "power battery". Why did they have to ditch this in the follow-up "Justice League Unlimited"?
What happens next? Be with us tomorrow, Same Jabootu time, same Jabootu channel!
"The Queen is testing poisons." CLEOPATRA, 1935 |
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Greenhornet
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
1791 Posts |
Posted - 06/29/2005 : 10:21:02 AM
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EPISODE ONE continued:
Rewatching the opening sequence, I noticed that the rockets came out of the laser gun. Cartoon magic or bad animation? You decide.
Lex revives in a hospital room (that looks like it was set up in a warehouse) and is not pleased to find Superman there. He begins ranting about lawyers and stuff when he's given the bad news: He has a rare form of blood poisoning, brought on by radiation from the kryptonite he had carried with him for years. I won't even go into the problems with this but will point out that it should have been obvious because of the glow we saw in the opening. Luthor blames Superman, of course and is rather calm (Pissed, but calm) when he learns that it's "terminal". Supes offers to do something, but you can guess how his enamy takes that.
CUT TO: A prison on an island where Lex is kept awake....by opera music?
(Excuse me, this is where I hit the post icon by accident. To continue)
Luthor starts fiddling with his cable box and in the next cell, the Ultra Humanite is watching....Japanese opera? Luthor pops onscreen and rails at the gorilla-looking guy who is supposed to be a extreemly high IQed guy who had his brain put into what he considered "the perfect body". Luthor offers him a lot of money to help him, but UH sees no use for money. Luthor says "everyone needs money, the only question is; how much?" and Ultra looks like he has a good idea.
Outside, (In what has to be days later) it's feeding time and two guards bring Ultra his dinner. One guard opens one eye wide and a beam plays over it, causeing an "OK" sign to light up and the cell door to open.
I'm not a security expert (I do have some experience) but this seems like a dumb idea to me. As high-tech as this is, it's not very secure because every time a guard enters the cell block, or a cell, he has "the key" with him. He takes "the key" home with him and everywhere else he goes. In old fashioned prisons, there was always a rule that no keys to the cell block or other outside doors are to be taken into the cell area. There is a reason for that.
Ultra Humanite is in bed, reading, and asks the guards to bring the food in because he's not feeling too well. Commenting that he's a "model prisoner", they draw thier clubs and push the serving cart inside the well-appointed cell. As you may have guessed, it's a trap and the men are electricuted.
Humanite carries a guard to Luthor's cell next door and uses the man's eye to open it. (You see? What did I tell you?) They make a run for it with Luthor carrying a small package and Humanite useing his gorilla abilitys to get them over the walls. The guards use lasers, by the way and I'm not going to complain about their not useing BULLETS because I suppose that in this high-tech world, prison guards WOULD use an advanced form of TASER. With Batman and the police looking for them, Lex decides "a small diversion" is in order, which means that he uses the package to blow up a building. (small, my butt!) I can't cry foul on this either, because in the comics, Luthor was always building wierd stuff in prison. Once he even had a criminal who was going to the pen fitted with a false skin that hid electronic circuts! However, I have to point out that the bomb, which exploded at the foot of the brownstone's steps, caused the INSIDE of the building to catch fire. No way.
Two cops start evacuation (Nice to see non-supers do something right) whe Batman shows up to help. He sees a kid in an upper story and calls for backup before rushing in via batgrapple. Bats runs and jumps through the flames with the little girl, but the floor colapses under them! Hawkgirl flys through the fire to catch them and bring them safely to the street where the firemen are on the job. HG smiles and says that she's used to being thanked when she saves someone and Batman sneers that he's "not used to being saved".
Jeeze, Batman! Here I was ready to compliment you on your selfless act and you have to act like a JERK!
Superman and Flash show up and it seems that they were looking for Luthor and Humanite. Flash brushes them off as just "two guys" and before the others can smack him on his empty head and call him a dork, we cut away to.........
The Metropolis Pictures Store (For Lease), where a werecat is slinking in. It's Cheetah in her new incarnation, unlike the Catwoman wanna-be from the Legion Of Doom. The place is filled with statues of cartoon charicters and empty display cases and Cheetah moves carefully. Copperhead steps out of the shadows and is attacked by Cheetah untill he raises his hands and speaks gently. His name's "Copperhead" but he looks more like a lizard than a snake. We learn thet they both came here because someone offered them jobs. Copperhead tries to be charming, but he wiggles his toung at her and gets scratched. Smooth move, buddy.
Copperhead slams her with his tail and she falls back into soloman Grundy! ("Nice kitty").
Grundy has been covered before, and I will just say that I prefer his phony Louisianna accent to the "Me big dumb guy" voice he has here. Sure, he was revived in Slaughter Swamp outside of Metopolis (New York, I think) but he could have been "a transplant" as we call inter-state imigrants in Florida.
Cheetah claws Grundy (Nice, stupid kitty) and she runs away, throwing Copperhead out of Grundy's reach. (I'm not sure if she ment to get him out of harm's way, or if he was just in HER way) Perhaps returning the favor, Copperhead gets Grundy in a headlock (Yeah, THAT'S going to help) when a thin guy in black shoots black stuff from his cane throwing the whole place into darkness, stopping the scuffle. He returns the stuff to his cane and threatens "worse" if they don't cut out the garbage. He's "The Shade" and says that his "night stick" is powerfull enough to take care of them. Too bad a pink beam takes it away from him. A black-haired woman in black and pink flys down an says "Fairer(?) without this, you're less than nothing, little man". She then sneers at the assembled company of "common criminals".
Ladies and gentlemen, we give you; Star Sapphire!
Star Sapphire was a Green Lantern foe and one of the best. Here, as in the comics, she is Carol Ferris and is beutifly voiced by Olivia D'Abo. Not only had her new costume caused a stir amoung her fans, but the English accent was highly praised as part of her duel personality. But there's some problems here: Star Sapphire's motive was that she had to beat up Hal Jordon/Green Lantern in order to become Queen of the Zamarons, a race of immortal babes on another planet. The Zamarons turned out to be the females who left the planet Oa when the males decided to become the blue "Guardians" who run the Green Lantern Corps. But all this back story had been abandoned in the cartoon and in order to be Pliticly Correct", the artists have added FEMALE guardians to Oa, makeing some fans wonder if there ARE any "Zamarons", which begs the question of just WHERE did Carol Ferris get her star sapphire?
But as SS is bemoaning her fate, Luthor and Humanite come down in a rickety elevator to fill the gang in. (Shade takes this opportuninty to take back his night stick) He promasses to pay them well IF they do one job: "deastroy Superman and the Justice League". They all seem surprised except for Grundy who grins nastily and Star Sapphire who looks delighted.
All right, I have to throw the penalty flag again. Because her background has been ignored, we have no idea what Star Sapphire's motives are! While destroying the Justice League may mean that she has a chance to defeat Green Lantern, will see that she makes no real attempt to fight him! So that can't be her motive. Also, Luthor keeps ranting about paying them and will even double his offer. So what, she gets to kill GL twice? In "FURY", she comments that she likes jewels, but if I we her, I would use the sapphire to FIND riches, maybe even offer to locate and salvage sunken treasure ships for an even cut. Plus, the Justice league website says that she's Carol Ferris. In the comics, Carol owned an aircraft factory, so she has to be pretty well off.
In the Watchtower, Flash is bragging to Hawkgirl that he put out the fire before the firemen got off thier trucks. Whic is a lie, because we saw them useing thier hoses earlier. Unless he's talking about ANOTHER fire. She "zings" him in return. Bats puts a news report about a hostage situation at the Federal Building involving Ultra Humanite on the big screen and since it involves a supervillian, they call in the team. At the building, we have helecopter gunships and armored cops at the ready (which makes scence for a world where supers exist) and negotiations are going nowhere untill Green Lanter disarms Ultra H. Supes slams Ultra through the door (Causeing him to drop the hostage, you dick) and Batman checks her out, telliing GL to find the other hostages. He gets his face scratched for his concern.
Yep, it's a set-up! I'll bet you never saw that one comming! You did? Oh.
Grundy surprises John Stewart/GL by smashing through a door, which somehow causes him to go through the floor. (don't ask, I'm just going to move on) Supe is slightly distracted by this, but still has a firm grip on the Ultra Humanite. that is, untill a pink beam hits the back of his head and sends to the mat. Yes, it's star Sapphire, poseing in mid-air like a pin-up girl. (Isn't she cute? I want to hug her and pet her and squeeze her and call her "George"!)
By The Way, Remeber what she did to Superman.
Batman is holding off Cheetah when copperhead attacks from behind, getting tossed away for his trouble. Supes gets up before the full ten-count and looks up to see Grundy's FIST! Man, it's always something. Grundy knocks Superman into a wall then proceeds to literaly, pound him into the ground to Luthor's delight. Grundy looks up to see "Harkgirl SMASH!" fly up and send him on a line-drive to left field. Now Flash zips up and slugs Copperhead and wonder Woman lassos Cheetah (Teamwork!). However, Shade exvelops Flash in darkness, causeing him to crash.
OK, I hope that you made a note of Star Sapphire's clobbering Superman with a single shot, because she is now fighting Hawkgirl who manages to block her blasts. HG then counter attacks, swinging her charged mace, driveing Star Sapphire back while Carol just floats there and takes it. Now we have already seen her knock Supes for a loop and later in this episode and in "Fury", she gives the impression of being more powerfull than Green Lantern. so she should be able to pluck and roast that crazy bird-brain! But there's a REAL reason she doesn't: it was revieled in a comic called "Society Of Supervillians" that Star Sapphire dislikes fighting women! in this episode as well as in FURY, you will see her going easy on HG and wonder Woman, even though it's obvious that she could take them BOTH on and win with her eyes closed.
(Something else to consider; The Zamorons live without men and
obviously care little for them. SS will blast men [Even those she works with] and coddles women. So, what I'm asking is: I know that Carol Ferris isn't, but is Star Sapphire gay? Hey, I'm just asking!)
Anyway, Shade provides cover-fire and brings Hawkgirl down, only to be kicked by Batman. Bats comes under fire from SS and her explosions look about equal to a mini-grenade explosion. (See what I mean?) A batarang knocks her aside, sending a blast to an exposed pipe(?) below the ceiling, distracting Wonder Woman who is still just floating around with Cheetah "on a leash". Star Sapphire sends a few gentle shots her way and Batman Spots Luthor.
Luthor yells "Finnish him off!" to Ultra, which seems kind of dumb since Superman has Ultra in a Full Nelson. UH does mannage to run backwards into a wall, getting the better of Supes. Batman runs up to the second-floor landing to get Lex who first tries to shoot Bats, then (amazeingly) proceeds to pound on the Caped Crusader! Go Luthor! Lex retieves his pistol and, just as he is about to make me very happy, (IE, shooting Batman) wondie deflects a blast from Star Sapphire, sending it his way. (Watch for the "Oh, CRAP" look on his face) the Ultra Humanite has a great line when he says "There goes our paycheck" before rescueing Lex.
Copperhead bites the bat and gets shot by Green Lantern in turn. The tide is turning and Shade turns off the lights, alowing the mob to excape. Without copperhead, however. And Batman is down.
They take bats to the Watchtower and administer an anti-venom in an IV, through his glove! (Rolls eyes) Supes goes down to interigate Copperhead, telling Batman to rest. But of course, he has to be the tough guy and goes to work on a computer. Martian Manhunter talks soothingly to Batman, pointing out that although he is the only one who has no superpowers (I don't know if Hawkgirl's natural [In this cartoon] wings count as a "superpower") he doesn't have to proove anything. I expected Bats to say something like "Are you going to help me, or just spout stupid cliches?" but he doesn't. he dose announce that he's takeing the shuttle and makes a tough guy remark that J'onn chooses to ignor. (We learn why later)
Back at Badguy Central, Lex Luthor is ragging on the gang. Shade suggests that he pay them more and Lex suggest that he do something nasty to them. Grundy comes up with an idea of his own (Involving grabbing Luthor by the head) but Lex doesn't care; he's dying and if they kill him, they won't get paid. Oddly enough, he points at Star Sapphire as he says this, so once again I have to ask "what is she after?"
The door is kicked open and the Joker comes in, happy as always. Luthor tells Grundy to throw him out but the big guy gets a load of gas from an air horn, sending him top the floor. Joker insists that they need him and to proove it, he pulls a bat-shaped dohicky off Lex's shirt.
We fade in to see Batman come down his batrope and follow the tracer. Leaning over a balcony, he sees the gang playing cards and I have to point out that Luthor steals a card from Star Sapphire! Grundy moans about waiting, but soon we will be treated to the greatest scene in cartoon history! As Batman watches, Joker slips up behind him and smacks the back of his head with a satchel full of rocks, knocking him over the wall and onto the table three stories below!
AH HAHAHAHA! Oh, GOD!! Hahaha! My sides! Oh gosh! Hee Hee.
well Batman, you just HAD to do it, didn't you? You HAD to go off half-cocked on your own without back-up or telling anyone about the bug you planted. YOU are a MORON.
TO BE CONTINUED
"The Queen is testing poisons." CLEOPATRA, 1935 |
Edited by - Greenhornet on 07/01/2005 9:04:50 PM |
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hk6909
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
651 Posts |
Posted - 06/29/2005 : 11:01:43 PM
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Interesting review so far Hornet, but the transitions are a little jumpy in places. One thing I always wondered is, what the h-e-double hockey sticks is Grundy gonna do with money? He's a freaking zombie. And ipso facto, who would sell anything to him? I dunno, maybe this Grundy has a taste for the finer things in life, but all the other uses of Grundy I've seen portray him as the dumb killer swamp monster he's always been.
Rah! I'm a hamstah! |
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Greenhornet
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
1791 Posts |
Posted - 06/30/2005 : 1:19:37 PM
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Good point about Grundy. What the heck DOES he want with money?
Sorry about the review being "jumpy", I blame myself. There are just so many charicters and stuff happening that I want to cover it well.
Haveing dinner with my folks later, so the last chapter may have to wait untill tomorrow. |
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Greenhornet
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
1791 Posts |
Posted - 07/01/2005 : 6:41:14 PM
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| CRAP! I didn't put in my password and lost the damn review! |
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Greenhornet
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
1791 Posts |
Posted - 07/02/2005 : 12:55:23 PM
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PART TWO: (Redo)
(This is only my second review and the first one I did from a DVD, so it follows that I'll make some mistakes. I rewatched chapter one with subtitles and found out that Star Sapphire said "Spare us. Without it you're less than nothing little man" not "Fairer" ect. That makes more scense)
You gotta love the recap:
MARTIAN MANHUNTER: "You're the only one without special powers, But you don't need to proove yourself."
CUT TO JOKER WITH BAG OF ROCKS: POW!!
Oh that's priceless!
Now some of you may think that I hate Batman, but that's not true. I just think that he's an idiot. It's just not what happens in these cartoons, he was pretty stupid in the comicbooks too. In THE BRAVE AND THE BOLD comic where he was teamed up with other heros and heroines, he found it impossible to believe that a woman had faith healing powers. Because, you know, only morons believe in that "magic" junk. His partner for this issue? Zatanna, possibly THE most powerfull magician in the DC universe! I'm surprised that she didn't just laugh in his face and turn Bats into a frog!
(I'm stalling, aren't I? OK, on to the review proper)
Several shadows approach Batman who is bound to a post with thick cables, some kind of rays falling on him. Joker wakes him up and starts demanding that Luthor let's him kill Batman (Yay Joker!). But Luthor wants him alive (Boo Lex!) untill they no longer need him. Joker compares his own sanity to Luthor's and goes off to sulk. From the silent looks the others give LL, they agree with Joker.
Lex's eye starts twitching and he launches into "Villianous rant #24a: I'm Right, you're wrong!":
"Those restraints are pure titanium. He'll never get loose. And that stasis field will prevent the Martian from locateing him."
And right then the Bat-FanBoys are nudgeing each other, saying "Boy! Is he in for a surprise!" And I start hitting my head with a hammer because the hammer blows are less painfull than what I know is comeing.
Luthor begins to question Batman, wanting to know where he keeps his "passkey or access code". BM tells him to guess, and Lex has Grundy search the utility belt. Grundy was chosen for this task because not only is he as tough as nails, but he's almost as smart.
Sure enough, Grundy gets laid out by several thousand volts while his team mates look on without any surprise, no doubt thinking "Gee, it sure sucks to be Grundy." Hell, I'll bet that even BATMAN was thinking that! Joker comes over just to do the "I told you so" gag and Star Sapphire takes the belt upstairs for Luthor to work on while Grundy and Ultra Humanite are detailed to watch the Bat.
BM starts playing mind games with them, saying that Grundy should get more money (Yes, MONEY. See hk6909's comments) than the Ultra Humanite because of all the abouse he has to put up with. UH calls this "preposterous" and sits down to read the newspaper.
RULE #76: "Never turn your back on Batman or a zombie. And if both are in the same room, you're in trouble."
Upstairs, Luthor is getting back to his mad scientist roots. He puts an x-ray of the belt on a screen and calls it "Fascinateing". I don't know. Maybe I'm jaded by the internet, but haveing a device that must have cost millions of dollars and is bigger than all the appliances in my kitchen, just to recreate late 19th centure technology just seems like a waste of funds to me. The utility belt sparks, jumps(?), and causes a small explosion makeing Star Sapphire remind Luthor that SOME of them would like to live to collect Social Security. Sounds of a fight makes her flich and look off-stage.
Luthor knows exactly what the problem is. UH and Grundy are scrapping and here Ultra calls Soloman a "worthless zombie" removeing any doubt from our minds about him being an animated corpse. Luthor yells at them, getting a reluctant appology in return. (Seanbaby has mentioned Luthor's leadership skills and appairent ability to keep a bunch of costumed nutcases working together without killing each other and this is a good example)
Lex knows that Batman is behind it all and tells Cheetah take over for the other two. Back in the lab, Lex has another siezure and Shade shows how loyal he is by suggesting that they be paid in advance. Only the Humanite shows any real concern and says he might be able to help...for "extra".
FADE TO: STRIKER'S ISLAND PRISON.
Flash and Superman are interrigateing Copperhead and Supes trys to be tough. Copperhead sees through this, calling him "boyscout" and asking if he's going to give him "a wedgie". Yeah, a SUPER wedgie! Do it, Kal El!
Superman drops him on his butt and the guards take Copperhead away. And look: he's still wearing his costume that has the prehensable tail that knocked Cheetah across the room in the last episode! Remember what I said about security in the last chapter?
In the Studio Store, Batman is listening to Cheetah's sad, sad story of her life. It seems that when funding for research animals ran out, she experimented on herself. They start talking about danger and takeing risks and....Look, I know that Bruce has a thing for "cat chicks", but I don't want to know where this is going.
Luthor and Humanite are setting up some machines to work on the belt and Joker is still on that "Let me kill Batman" kick. UH is sent to relieve Cheetah and Lex hits some buttons. The utility belt sparks and jumps (Again, "?") and the pocket flaps pop open. YAY! Now we get to see what's in Batman's legendary utility belt! Here is the tally:
4 Batarangs (which have been seen to explode in other episodes)
4 Bat-shaped shurikin (one of which explodes when Joker throws one)
and 6 M-26 fragmentation grenades
Hold it! There's a flag on the play! Batman is supposed to be opposed to killing. He hates guns and refuses to carry one. In the comics he has even stopped people from useing guns. So WHY does he carry and use HIGH EXPLOSIVES? Why do people who make cartoons consider this less violent that a hero who carries a gun? (See The Vigilante in Justice League Unlimited) Batman is not only a jerk, he's also a hypocrite.
Oh and there is one more thing in the belt: a remote control with several buttons. "the key to our victory" LL calls it.
The scene shifts to Earth orbit and Star Sapphire is transproting Grundy and Shade in a pink bubble. (Must resist...Wizard...Of Oz...reffrence!) Grundy complains about the heights and Carol assures him that they are "almost there". (From her expression she must be thinking "Please God, don't let him get sick in my bubble!") They approach the Watchtower and Shade uses the remote that turns out to be the JLA's garage door opener. "Hanger door opener", rather. They land inside and the Martian Manhunter sees them on a moniter. What he doesn't see is the gangsters dieing of oxigen starvation because Shade had forgotten to close the doors and SS has clearly dropped the protective bubble. She may be automaticly protected by an aura and Grundy's a zombie and not really "alive", but what about The Shade?
Anyhow, J'onn hits the alarm (That alerts the Earth-side members, we soon learn) and flys down to check things out. Flying through the hanger (Where the doors are STILL open!) the lights go out and MM is clobbered by Grundy. Shade puts the lights on again, complimenting Grundy. Oddly, Star Sapphire seems PLEASED with Grundy's attack, maybe she just likes to see men get beat up. You know, because a planet of beutifull women gave her the power gem and asked her to be thier queen and she cares about women more than men. (not that I'm suggesting anything, of course)
Down at the prison, Green Lantern, Wonder Woman and Hawkgirl have joined Flash and Superman by their ship and are discussing the situation. J'onn hasn't reported since he sounded the alarm and Hawkgirl says "Something's wrong up there. I can feel it." To which Flash replys "NO! Really? And here I was thinking that he set off the alarm because it's April Fools' Day!" (yeah, I wish he said that) And the heros and heroines kind of STROLL into the spaceship while we fade to....
Joker wheeling a TV into the room where they are holding Batman. He anounces "The end of the Justice League" and the Ultra Humanite is irratated by Jokers act and leaves. Joker then says that after the space station blows up, he gets to kill Batman.
The Javalin flys up to the Watchtower (And this time, they rememeber to close the doors) where they find J'onn J'onzz knocked out on the hanger deck. (I'm sorry for bringing up the hanger doors every ten seconds, but it's so OBVIOUS) MM is taken to the sick bay while HG and GL look around. They find Batman AND the other shuttle gone which surprises them because BATMAN NEVER TOLD THEM ABOUT HIS PLANS(the jerk). Wondie takes a phone call (Saying "hello" before she picks up the reciever) and is informed by SOMEONE that there is a bomb on board!!!!!
The JLA runs and flys around, looking for the bomb with their super powers. Green Lantern finds a heat trail and follows it to the suitcase that Grundy had earlier. Flash is on the ball and takes it to the hanger doors (and this time we SEE the decompression). While Supes opens them, Flash flings the case away. Watching on a TV screen, (See Seanbaby's site for info on Luthor's see-all camera system) the Injustice Gang see a big explosion!
HA! They got it away in time! Burned YOU Lex!
LL's pissed and calls his gang "incompetent money-grubbing crooks". This is too much for Star Sapphire who decides that ruleing a planet of women (Or whatever it is she's trying to acomplish) is better than working for a Mr Clean reject (to their credit, they don't ask to get paid since they DID fail). Luthor offers to double their pay and Grundy observes that even HE'S "not that dumb".
"All right then," Luthor says. "Triple."
OK, that's how dumb Grundy is.
Joker is sad because the JLA is still alive. But he perks up and pulls out a straight razor, ready to go to town on Batman. Batman head butts him and before Joker can retaliate, Grundy enters to chase him off. Batman thanks Grundy for protecting him (But you won't thank HAWKGIRL, you jerk?) and asks for some water. BM spits the water into the stasis shower, shorting it out so he can send a mental message to the Martian Manhunter.
OK, so this was his big plan. MM knew about it because he read Batman's mind in the Watchtower and that's why he let him go. Let's give them the benefit of the doubt and say they didn't inform the others because the Injustce Gang may have been monitoring their transmissions. BUT it still makes no scense! Why did Bats have to go off on his own? Why didn't he tell the others about his tracer so they ALL could have followed it? Batman could have scouted ahead to make sure they were all there, but he would have had back-up this time. They could have stopped the villians' plans then or at least hindered them.
No Ken, the answer is not "because then the cartoon would be over", it's "because Batman is an idiot."
In the lab, Ultra Humanite is playing "Dr Frankenstein" and Luthor ends up being fitted with a breast and backplate. UH thinks it will stableize Luthor's condition. Grundy rushes in and gives them the bad news that "Batman broke that satic thingie". Luthor says that before the battle, the must get rid of the traitor.
Bum bum BUM!
He runs through a few security tapes and finds Cheetah kissing Batman! Eeeewwww! (I told you that I didn't want to know where it was going) Cheetah denys it and makes a ruin for it. At the elevator Joker zaps her, proveing that he's "a team player". Grundy takes charge of Cheetah, dragging her away while she continues to proclaim her innocence.
On top of a building across the street, the JLA are watching. Not wanting to get into a hostage situaton, the Martian Manhunter phases through the roof and appiers in the room where Batman is held captive. He whispers to Batman, who shouts (I said SHOUTS) "J'onn don't!" forceing J'onn to attack the now alert Ultra Humanite who rams a cattle prod through MM's chest.
Do I even have to say it at this point? "Batman's an idiot."
Fortunately, Hawkgirl ahs a back-up plan: "Let me hit something!" surpriseingly, it works. HG and Flash charge through the door, Supes crashes through the wall and GL and WW go through a window. Their opponants are waiting and Star Sapphire opens the game with a blast that sends Flash into Hawkgirl. Green Lantern shoots back, but his ray is easily(!) blocked by SS who takes to the air.
Superman makes a flying slam into Grundy, sending them both through a wall. Man, you could have nothing but these two fighting for 90% of an episode and it would still be worth watching! Hawkgirl charges in and is covered by Shade's dark stuff, makeing her crash into a statue of the WONDER TWINS, destroying it and makeing many people (Myself included) happy.
WW clobbers Shade and lassos Joker but is blown across the room by an exploding doll. Joker, however is hit by Grundy and suprman entering the room through the wall. They slug it out (None of that "I grab and pick you up" nonscence for THIS cartoon!) and Grundy throws a statue of a cartoon duck at Supes. He smashes it and half goes flying over to.....
...where GL and SS are fighting. Carol Ferris catches it in her back and goes down. You know what, Green Lantern? You were lucky!
Shade recovers, but is dropped by Flash and Hawkgirl. Flash then goes after Joker (all this time it looks like he doesn't go faster than 30mph) who trips him up with explodeing marbles.
Grundy is beaten into submission and Superman demands to know where Luthor is. In classic comicbook timeing, Lex says "Right here" and blasts Kal El with a kryptonite ray. He's wearing a battlesuit that (I think) is a combination of two that he had worn in the comics. Pouring on the radiation, Lex doesn't see the Ultra Humaninte come in. UH then gives Luthor a taste of his cattle prod. He then surrenders when the rest of the JLA shows up.
That's right, Cheetah wasn't the traitor. When I first saw this episode, I didn't feel any surprise. It wasn't that I expected it, I think it was just that I was relieved that they didn't try to pull that moldy old "villianess falls in love with the hero" gag on us.
That leaves the Joker. He is about to leave when he remembers that Batman is still alive. When he goes to the holding area, he finds Batman still captive and puts a bullet through his head.
SIGH
OK, he goes down and finds that Batman has excaped and Joker is quickly disarmed and knocked out.
Is anyone surprised? Bats says that he could have excaped ANY TIME HE WANTED. But that's crap because he could have called in the JLA to wrap things up. Instead, he hangs around, and almost gets himself AND the Martian Manhunter killed! Batman, YOU are an IDIOT! turn in your cape!
Outside the cops have arrived and are herding the criminals into a paddy wagon. I noticed then that Star Sapphire is sitting VERY close to Cheetah, the only other female in the group (Not that I'm suggesting anything, I'm just pointing out the seating arraingements). Ultra Humanite stops to talk to Batman and asks if he will keep his bargain "double what Luthor was paying".
Jeeze, Mr Multi-Billionare Playboy! Why don't you just pay off ALL the crooks and retire?
And what does the Ultra Humanite do with his loot?
We return to Striker's Island prison where UH is happily watching more Japanese opera on the Culture Channel!
This review was made possible by a grant from the Ultra Humanite and readers like you. |
Edited by - Greenhornet on 07/02/2005 1:38:36 PM |
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hk6909
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
651 Posts |
Posted - 07/03/2005 : 08:33:14 AM
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WW clobbers Shade and lassos Joker but is blown across the room by an exploding doll.
Since when does Joker use exploding dolls? Wasn't that just Toy Man's schtick?
Rah! I'm a hamstah! |
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Greenhornet
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
1791 Posts |
Posted - 07/03/2005 : 6:29:08 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by hk6909
Since when does Joker use exploding dolls? Wasn't that just Toy Man's schtick?
You're right. Joker must be desperate to be stealing ideas from Toyman. What next? Shoveing straw down his pants and wearing a beat-up "farmer brown" hat?
"The Queen is testing poisons." CLEOPATRA, 1935 |
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hbrennan
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
Philippines
1455 Posts |
Posted - 07/04/2005 : 8:12:50 PM
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I don't know. Shoving straw down his pants coupled with that huge grin - it just doesn't seem right, somehow.
"...yet it hadn't destroyed his brain."
re: Charles "The Butcher" Benton (1956)
http://henrybrennan.blogspot.com/ |
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CobraCmdr
Diocesan Ecclesiarch of the Sacred Order of Jabootu
70 Posts |
Posted - 07/12/2005 : 1:57:26 PM
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| Geez, you guys are really critical of these cartoons. I would say this is the best non-comedy animated show on television. Of course Batman is also definately my favorite character so I guess I'm missing something. |
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hk6909
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
651 Posts |
Posted - 07/12/2005 : 4:03:57 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by CobraCmdr
Geez, you guys are really critical of these cartoons. I would say this is the best non-comedy animated show on television. Of course Batman is also definately my favorite character so I guess I'm missing something.
Well, yeah, we are, this is Jabootu's Bad Movie Dimension, the kind of place where critical people tend to congregate.
Rah! I'm a hamstah! |
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Greenhornet
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
1791 Posts |
Posted - 07/12/2005 : 6:11:38 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by CobraCmdr
Geez, you guys are really critical of these cartoons. I would say this is the best non-comedy animated show on television. Of course Batman is also definately my favorite character so I guess I'm missing something.
I just call them like I see them.
BTW, I was a regular reader of the JLA comic book in the Seventys and Eightys and had obtained some back issues, so I hate the "Conspiricy Nut's wet dream" that this cartoon has become. Besides as I keep pointing out, they compleatly screwed up the backgrounds of two of my favorite charicters: Star Sapphire and Zatanna, so maybe I'm out for revenge.
"The Queen is testing poisons." CLEOPATRA, 1935 |
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CobraCmdr
Diocesan Ecclesiarch of the Sacred Order of Jabootu
70 Posts |
Posted - 07/13/2005 : 07:45:12 AM
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Yeah, I'll admit, I only recently became a fan of comics, and don't know the backstroy of most of the characters. My favorite comic series is "The Ultimates," and my introduction to comics came from reading "Watchmen" for a college class, so I dig the whole conspiracy angle/ethics of superheroes stuff.
I just don't think this series is really bad enough to deserve the Jabootu treatment, in fact, I think it is quite good. Of course I am a grown man who is watching cartoons, so take my opinion at what it's worth.
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tray82
Altar Boy of Jabootu
4 Posts |
Posted - 08/18/2005 : 12:09:23 PM
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[8D] Thats the way it is done do you not think so. [8D]
[url=""][/url] | [url=""][/url] | [url=""][/url] | |
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hk6909
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
651 Posts |
Posted - 09/24/2005 : 6:07:02 PM
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Hey, just had a thought. Saw the latest episode again, and man GH, the Extremists seem to hate Batman as much as you do.
No, as a matter of fact, there has never been one single time where I've been mellow. |
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Injustce For All (Introduction)
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