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zombiewhacker
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
1475 Posts |
 Posted - 12/25/2007 : 11:54:46 PM
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I see a few years ago somebody turned Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer into an animated Christmas special. And turned it into a whodunit! Santa was framed by Cousin Mel... and Mel's a chick!!! They could have at least spent more than fifteen cents on the animation, but no-can-do.
There's gotta be worse examples out there, but this was bad enough. |
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Joliet Jake Blues
Minister of the Sacraments of Jabootu
Australia
41 Posts |
Posted - 12/26/2007 : 12:27:25 AM
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I assume the Star Wars Holiday Special need not be mentioned, due to its notoriery?
"Age and guile beat youth, innocence and a bad haircut" - P.J. O'Rourke |
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RossM
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
427 Posts |
Posted - 12/26/2007 : 08:10:31 AM
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| How about a disfunctional angel is sent from heaven to help a disfunctional family learn the true meaning of Christmas? |
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Citizen Carrier
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
322 Posts |
Posted - 12/26/2007 : 4:04:28 PM
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How about a special made right now, but starring Alf,
[img]http://www.nvkz.net/poligraf/images/chat/alf.jpg[/img]
who goes to the North Pole and treats Santa and the elves to his sarcastic wisecracking.
With special guest appearances by Mr. T, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (who also do a musical dance number), Ed Asner, Dick Cavett, William F. Buckley, Oliver North, Alvin and the Chipmunks (animated musical dance number with live characters interacting), Bruce Willis, Dennis Hopper, Rosie O'Donnell, and Henry Kissinger.
That bad enough for you? |
Edited by - Citizen Carrier on 12/26/2007 4:10:28 PM |
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Sardu
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
1126 Posts |
Posted - 12/26/2007 : 5:03:51 PM
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" 'Miracle On 34Th Street' was pretty good but I think we can do it better. ESPECIALLY if we get that chick who played Wilma in the live-action Flintstones. And to direct we need the very best- get the guy who did Encino Man."
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0110527/
"Meeting you makes me want to be a real noodle cook"
--Tampopo |
Edited by - Sardu on 12/26/2007 8:54:39 PM |
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Citizen Carrier
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
322 Posts |
Posted - 12/26/2007 : 8:18:38 PM
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Sorry, I left out Alf, Jeff Goldblum, Lou Reed, Jon Lovitz and the artist formerly known as Prince singing "I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas" as the credits roll in the final moments of the Christmas special.
Now it is the most incomprehensibly bizarre, disjointed and surreal Christmas special ever conceived in the mind of Man. |
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Citizen Carrier
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
322 Posts |
Posted - 12/26/2007 : 10:20:14 PM
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No, no, no! More beer has made it all clear to me now.
Alf doesn't go to the North Pole to harass and heckle Santa.
He goes to a secret temple in the Brazilian rain forest where Santa Claus, Grandfather Frost, Father Time, Gaia, Vishnu, Jesus, the Prophet Mohammad, the Dalai Lama, a bodhisattva, the world's most revered Rabbi, a powerful Wiccan, Druids, and the living embodiement of Kwanzaa are gathered together to see if they can harness a sort of generic "holiday consciousness" that "appears" to be at it's strongest at the end of December--for some unexplained reason--in order to save the world from global warming.
All of the aforementioned special guest stars STILL appear, but now with narration from Margaret Cho, and all the musical dance numbers are included as planned. And it is all done LIVE.
There. Now I've done it. An absolute debacle. A complete and utter disaster of television programming so awful a significant portion of the populace would wish they could un-invent television and go back to radio dramas and puppet shows. |
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Sardu
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
1126 Posts |
Posted - 12/26/2007 : 11:37:21 PM
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Margaret Cho. You, sir, have gone too far.
"Meeting you makes me want to be a real noodle cook"
--Tampopo |
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Citizen Carrier
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
322 Posts |
Posted - 12/27/2007 : 07:01:32 AM
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But I have only just begun to defile!
I'm thinking the whole thing should be a 4 hour mini-series. Screenplay should be written by Aaron Sorkin, creator of The West Wing, and HEAVILY influenced by the tenets of your basic "Bollywood" big production spectacle. Aside from the musical dance numbers already mentioned, all other music (background, incidental, etc.) should be provided by a re-united Queen and specifically designed to sound as much like the music they did for Flash Gordon as possible.
And the whole pantheon of religious and holiday figures should be treated kind of like a seasonal League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.
Although this is to be a non-denominational, all-inclusive, vaguely "spiritual" show where all religions are slighted by treating them equally as if they are all just "cute" things ignorant people do in order to explain scary stuff like lightening while more urbane, sophisticated people sip lattes and wink at the quaintness of it all, Santa Claus clearly is the dominant, unifying figure.
His sleigh is the main mode of transportation for the League of Holiday Season Gentlemen. Folks, a scene where the sleigh is trapped in some kind of global-warming tornado vortex and the Prophet Mohammad falls overboard but is saved by The World's Most Revered Rabbi who grabs his hand at the last second just about writes itself, doesn't it?
Heck, the scene where the sleigh is racing over Afghanistan and with a wave of his hand Mohammad restores all those Buddha statues destroyed by the Taliban, and then winks at Buddha--who smiles--would probably survive the cutting room floor too. Jesus could then "high five" both Buddha and Mohammad for such a righteous display of inclusiveness during the seasonal holiday solstice time frame.
Santa's elves also manufacture The League's weapons and gadgetry.
Hmm. We need a villain. Not enough to just have them fight global warming. There has to be some antagonist actively seeking to promote global warming. China's the world's biggest polluter now, but making the leaders of that authoritarian police state the villains would just be too blatantly political.
I guess we'll just have to roll with that Bush impersonator actor. That would be accepted. |
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Flangepart
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
2329 Posts |
Posted - 12/27/2007 : 07:34:38 AM
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Stop him before he defiles again!!
See, the terrifing thing is...all that is possable, and would make a great flick to show people with cognitive disfunctions...if they can enjoy it, you know they have a deep problim.
If everyone else drools, screams, and begs for mercy, you know they are normal.
Marvin the Paranoid Android to Buzz Lightyear "Too infinity and beyond-i've been there, its rubbish!"
"Hoody Hoo, i waste 'em with my cross bow!" Bob Herzog- KODT
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Citizen Carrier
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
322 Posts |
Posted - 12/27/2007 : 08:24:42 AM
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The terrifying thing is that no matter how far I take this, I will still have my doubts that I can truly match The Star Wars Holiday Special in terms of sheer feculence. I'm trying to deliberately make something truly dreadful. The producers of that show were actually making an effort to NOT be dreadful.
http://chefelf.com/starwars/holiday_intro.php
There's a pretty funny scene by scene review of the special.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=asnVcbWQ2cg
There's the special "In 5 minutes" rather than the entire horrible two hours.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W344tHoOr-k&NR=1
There's the first eight and a half minutes of the special. Yes, several minutes of it is spoken in "Wookie" without subtitles or an English speaker to help us by speaking with them so we can get context clues. This is the ultimate "What the Hell am I watching?" moment any of us will ever see.
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Sardu
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
1126 Posts |
Posted - 12/27/2007 : 10:19:16 AM
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When you look into the Star Wars Holiday Special, the Star Wars Holiday Special looks back into you
"Meeting you makes me want to be a real noodle cook"
--Tampopo |
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Flangepart
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
2329 Posts |
Posted - 12/28/2007 : 3:49:13 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Sardu
When you look into the Star Wars Holiday Special, the Star Wars Holiday Special looks back into you
"Meeting you makes me want to be a real noodle cook"
--Tampopo
"if you watched it, you can't un-watch it!"
If the SWHS looks into me, it will see a very happy man. I have NOT see the special, and have taken the warnings seriously!
C.C. - Thats the heartbreaker about comedy...reality is always waiting to give you a conceptual wedgie.
Feculence? I like it! Trademark it.
Marvin the Paranoid Android to Buzz Lightyear "Too infinity and beyond-i've been there, its rubbish!"
"Hoody Hoo, i waste 'em with my cross bow!" Bob Herzog- KODT
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hbrennan
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
Philippines
1455 Posts |
Posted - 12/28/2007 : 6:30:14 PM
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I watched The Star Wars Holiday Special 2 years in a row with my young granddaughter (along with the Mexican "Santa Claus"). I bet you weren't aware that they have inmate Internet connections available in the Federal Penitentiary.
http://www.kgordonmurray.com/f01.html
"...yet it hadn't destroyed his brain."
re: Charles "The Butcher" Benton (1956)
http://www.henrybrennan.com/
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