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TheFoywonder
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
833 Posts |
 Posted - 04/09/2008 : 2:41:31 PM
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Ken mentioned on his blog the other day about the upcoming THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL remake starring Keanu Reeves and how it sounded poised for catastrophe. I forget if it was Harry or Moriarty but one of them had posted on Ain't It Cool News a few weeks before Ken's post that the script for the remake was worse than anyone could imagine. Well, imagine no more! Someone at AICN got their hands on the script and did a review of it. It really does sound worse than anyone could imagine. Beware of spoilers. Beware of reading stuff that will make you just want to hang your head and sigh.
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Everyone has seen the stand alone, classic 1951 film, "The Day the Earth Stood Still" directed by Robert Wise starring Michael Rennie as "Klaatu". It was based on Harry Bates' "Farewell To the Master" and is science fiction at its best.
Now they're remaking it in Vancouver. Keanu Reeves is in the lead role as the visitor from another planet with a warning for Earth.
Why?
What was wrong with the original that merits a remake?
After I read the script, I threw it against the wall.
BEWARE SPOILERS!!!
The story starts out with a promising beginning. Astronauts aboard the space shuttle discover a glassy sphere, which they recover through their bay doors.
No sooner as they do, the sphere (as if it has a will of its own) lets itself out, joining thousands of other spheres that head towards the surface of the Earth.
That's only the first two pages. Now it gets worse.
Scientist Dr. Helen Benson (portrayed by Jennifer Connolly) has a whiny son, Jacob. He's not as interesting as Bobby Benson in the original, and I'm real tired of the dysfunctional family theme. Jacob plays too many "violent" video games, Helen scolds him for it. She might as well put a dress on this kid and get it over with. Yet, they live in a violent world - we discover that Jacob's father was killed in Iraq.
An enormous energy sphere shows up in New York, and good ol' Klaatu makes his appearance. The entire army and air force are ready to stomp his ass if he gets out of line.
Of course he gets shot, and we do get a robot to come out of the ship. But its nothing like "Gort" - nor is it as fierce as "Gort."
Its called the "Totem". It walks around on all fours, does its destructo-ray stuff, and stands upright like a totem pole when its finished.
Oooooh, I'm soooooo scared.
Cut to the chase.
Klaatu enters the hospital. He escapes in a military uniform. There is no allusion to the "Major Carpenter" or "Carpenter" name, which is the subtext in the original film (Klaatu was a metaphor for Christ).
Klaatu befriends Helen and Jacob, enlisting their aid to meet with a "Mr. Wu" who is from Klaatu's home planet. Wu who has been monitoring Earth's behavior for eighty years - at a McDonald's of all places.
Okay, logic problem here.
If Klaatu is sent from his planet to destroy the Earth, why do we need Mr. Wu to tell us that it needs obliterating if he's already here? What? He couldn't do the job himself? How did he get here in the first place? Where's his space ship? Why wait eighty years? Why would Klaatu have to travel a hundred million light years for Mr. Wu to tell him that - when Klaatu is already doing the job he's sent on (coming from his home planet to destroy our world)?
Turns out that...because of Global Warming (and the destruction of our own planet with industrial waste and pollution)....the other galaxies deemed that we are not fit to survive. The glass spheres they sent down were to collect land and sea animal specimens to take back to their planet for study.
Visions ran through my head when I was reading this script: episodes of the sixties versions of "Ultraman" or "Johnny Sokko and His Flying Robot." Maybe "Prince of Space: Part II" with Klaatu as "Krang-Kor." "Ha...ha...ha..."
And no, the immortal words, "Klaatu Barada Nicto" are never uttered. Ever.
Needless-to-say, Earth goes through a violent energy field released through Klaatu's ship (wait a minute - wasn't Gort supposed to be the ultimate bad ass in this story?). But Earth survives, with Klaatu giving we humans a second chance as he dies - telling us that we must change our ways in order to survive, in a delivery that would rival Steven Segal's speech at the end of "On Deadly Ground."
Maybe the title song from "Godzilla Vs. the Smog Monster" would be more appropriate.
And you can bet they'll be no Theramin music either. Maybe a few tunes by Dogstar, though.
Gone are the interaction between Bobby and Klaatu at the Lincoln Memorial, the Arlington Cemetery, and the visit to the space ship.
Gone is the scene with Bobby discovering Gort taking out the two guards - and finding out that Carpenter is an alien.
Gone is the Hugh Marlowe character.
Professor Barnhardt is in it, but his role his limited. Plus, he gets killed. Why? He was the voice of reason. This makes no sense.
Yes, there is a scene where everything in the world stops for an hour and chaos erupts, but it was done in the original much better...and with style.
There are so many books out there just begging to be made into films, why does Fox have to remake a classic? Why not film Joe Haldeman's,"Forever Wars"? Or "Alfred Bester's "The Stars My Destination"? Or Arthur C. Clarke's "Rendezvous With Rama"? Or "Childhood's End"? Or the Mars Trilogy by Kim Stanley Robinson? Or quit stalling Orson Scott Card's "Ender's Game" as a movie?
I have no hopes for this as a film. It can't hold a candle to the timeless original. Call it something else, but don't call it "Day the Earth Stood Still."
Now Playing in Foyeurism at Foywonder.com: NEVER BACK DOWN - Much like the martial arts, the film's messages are also mixed
Plus: B-WARE THE BLOG is alive at http://www.livejournal.com/users/foywonder |
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Ericb
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
648 Posts |
Posted - 04/09/2008 : 2:55:26 PM
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quote:
Turns out that...because of Global Warming (and the destruction of our own planet with industrial waste and pollution)....the other galaxies deemed that we are not fit to survive. The glass spheres they sent down were to collect land and sea animal specimens to take back to their planet for study.
Sooo, humans are bad because we are ruining the planet with "industrial waste and pollution" (isn't that redundant?)so the aliens are going to destroy the Earth but take some specimens home for study. Uh, that makes them better than the humans how? So it's better to actually destroy a planet than pollute it?
"I reserve the right to look as well as be boring." - Robert Fripp |
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Terrahawk
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
644 Posts |
Posted - 04/09/2008 : 4:18:04 PM
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Logic, thy name is not Hollywood.
Foy, in answer to your question of why Hollywood isn't working on any of the other sci-fi classics, it simply comes down to $$$$. "The Day the Earth Stood Still" is really a fairly cheap film to make. There aren't a lot of special effects that need to be made for the film. Plus, Fox figures the name recognition will draw people in as well. The other stores require a lot of effects, aren't as well known to the general public, and some have some tricky areas that need to be addressed.
I wonder why they didn't redo the film but have it follow the story more closely. It would have given the film a more stand alone feeling instead of a poor remake.
EricB, you have hit the nail on the head. Of course, the original film had ethical problems as well.
- Si desea pulse 2 para español, encontrar un país diferente. - |
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Neville
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
Spain
1590 Posts |
Posted - 04/09/2008 : 4:27:24 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Ericb
So it's better to actually destroy a planet than pollute it?
Yes, but only if you destroy the planet by non-polluting means. For example, the Death Star was bad not beacause it destroyed planets, but because it run on nuclear energy (it had a reactor, didn't it?) and when it destroyed planets it would leave asteroids and litter all over.
Thanks God it was destroyed, and in a clean way that left no visible remains. |
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Sardu
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
1126 Posts |
Posted - 04/09/2008 : 7:39:46 PM
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Well, assuming that isn't all a massive belated April Fool's Day joke I will revel in the fragrance of the sweet sweet nectar of total vindication, served on their knees by all who made bleating "Well, shouldn't we wait until it's out before we start judging this thing?" noises upon the announcement of this most assured monumental turd.
*g*
"Meeting you makes me want to be a real noodle cook"
--Tampopo
Edit- punctuation |
Edited by - Sardu on 04/09/2008 9:48:40 PM |
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kennyblankenchip
Altar Boy of Jabootu
USA
9 Posts |
Posted - 04/09/2008 : 7:40:20 PM
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| Bah. It'll open and people will call it "a searing indictment of pollution", and "a tribute to the original". But what kind of tribute? From the information available it seems to be a rather lousy one. |
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Bobby-G
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
904 Posts |
Posted - 04/10/2008 : 02:59:38 AM
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In the original movie, you basically had a Superior Force saying to the people of Earth: get your act together or we'll blow you up. That seems to be the idea -- using the promise of total destruction to motivate people to act civilized. I assume that's that last message these particular film makers would want put out there.
Rob |
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Ericb
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
648 Posts |
Posted - 04/10/2008 : 05:49:58 AM
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They should've gotten Al Gore to play Gort.
"I reserve the right to look as well as be boring." - Robert Fripp |
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twitterpate
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
Canada
1026 Posts |
Posted - 04/10/2008 : 06:37:32 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Ericb
Sooo, humans are bad because we are ruining the planet with "industrial waste and pollution" (isn't that redundant?)so the aliens are going to destroy the Earth but take some specimens home for study. Uh, that makes them better than the humans how? So it's better to actually destroy a planet than pollute it?
"I reserve the right to look as well as be boring." - Robert Fripp
Oooh, but we're also violent! You see, we kill and destroy things, instead of trying to accept and understand them, so the good guys need to ... um, kill and destroy us. Despite the fact that, according to the movie, we're already killing ourselves without their help. |
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Flangepart
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
2329 Posts |
Posted - 04/10/2008 : 07:09:07 AM
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Ohm my...
Ya know, the idea of the first film can be questioned. A verbal sparring match about the 'change or die' threat could make a great scene...but the original at least had good acting and style.
This...thing...is one of the STUPIDEST ideas to come down the H-wood pike since...oh, last summer movie season.
BTW...the original is part of the 24hr Sci-Fi marathon at the Drexel here in Columbus on the 19th. Respect!
Thanks for the warning, Scott.
Marvin the Paranoid Android to Buzz Lightyear "Too infinity and beyond-i've been there, its rubbish!"
"Hoody Hoo, i waste 'em with my cross bow!" Bob Herzog- KODT
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Terrahawk
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
644 Posts |
Posted - 04/10/2008 : 08:23:56 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Flangepart
Ya know, the idea of the first film can be questioned. A verbal sparring match about the 'change or die' threat could make a great scene...but the original at least had good acting and style.
Definitely true Flangepart. The original, despite it's troublesome message, is a well done and enjoyable film. It might have made for an interesting remake if the remake had turned the premise of the original upside down. Instead of casting Klaatu as the savior of humanity, he could have been cast as a sinister and powerful force representing a repressive galactic order. In the original, the galaxy was basically ruled by the robots. Bringing those aspects to the forefront might have made for an interesting remake.
- Si desea pulse 2 para español, encontrar un país diferente. - |
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Capt. Nemo
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
630 Posts |
Posted - 04/10/2008 : 10:10:25 AM
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The original movie had some good touches involving Klatu's visit. Like his naivety as he seems bewildered that his landing a spaceship in Washington D.C. wouldn't inspire fear (leading him to get shot by a nervous soldier). Klatu's ambling around the city to get a better feel for whom he is having to deal with.
In the end, the new movie as proposed has a premise that is hard to swallow.
The original's premise was a little loopy too. And lets be clear on what that was. The original's premise was that humanity had to stop making war. This was because 1) the aliens were afraid that we might extend our violence to them and 2) to insure that no one got out of line powerful robots would totally destroy anyone who was a threat to peace. That would effectively put humanities butt on the line. I consider that premise loopy because I refuse to believe that robots can't blow a fuse and wipe out a planet by accident.
But the aliens had a stake in us giving up our war making powers. They didn't want it extending to them. And, at the time, with nuclear power coming to fruition, humanity (and its violent tendencies) looked like it would reach for the stars.
But the new movie seems to take another track. Humanity is not a threat. It's an embarrassment to the Universe. We can't care of our own planet given our intelligence. And therefore, must be wiped out. It's amazing that aliens would give a toss about what happens on the 3rd planet from the sun.
Such is border planet mentality. *snort*
________________________________________________________________________
"Ward, the Beaver blew up the 7-11 again."
"I'll have a talk with him Dear" |
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Sardu
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
1126 Posts |
Posted - 04/10/2008 : 10:51:36 AM
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Well, I've always liked the original film but when you really look at the premise it's always seemed contradictory to me. The aliens are saying that humanity is dangerous because of its tendency toward conflict, willingness to resolve conflict through violence, and that we are clearly too backward/underdeveloped/whatever to avoid giving into these base impulses. The implication is CLEARLY that the other advanced civilizations of the galaxy have evolved beyond such things. And yet, what is their only solution to the problem? Why, to talk and if that doesn't work (and it wont) well then hey- to resolve the conflict via war-like violence! Violence on a genocidal scale. It's so astonishingly hypocritical and absurd that one must conclude the other races of the galaxy are dangerously and utterly insane, or just evil controlling fascist bastards who have declared themselves morally superior in their own one sided court- and have the means to impose the sentence, and that wiping them out is the best thing we could do given half the chance. Counterproductive to their desires, for sure.
"Meeting you makes me want to be a real noodle cook"
--Tampopo |
Edited by - Sardu on 04/10/2008 10:57:41 AM |
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zombiewhacker
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
1475 Posts |
Posted - 04/10/2008 : 11:03:04 AM
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Thus, the premise of Day, like that of The Abyss, was supremely hypocritical. In both movies, the aliens reason that if humans don't stop destroying each other, the aliens will destroy us.
Um... what? Reminds me of the old Gallagher joke about suspending kids from school for playing hooky. "Don't wanna come to school? Okay... we won't let you! Ha HA!"
If war's always wrong, what gives the aliens the right to declare war on us? You don't see the aliens in Abyss promising to give up their weapon technology in exchange for our disarmament. 'Course not. They get to keep theirs. It's only civilizations that wage unprovoked war that deserve to be brought to heel... which would, um, include them since they're threatening to wipe us out, but... but... oh, look, Mark Spitz! (Alien runs away while back is turned.) |
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CDiehl
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
361 Posts |
Posted - 04/10/2008 : 1:17:38 PM
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I think it would have been better, and less hypocritical, if Klaatu's message went like this:
My people and our allies are loath to tell you how to regulate your lives, just as we are to wage war. However, as peaceable as we are, we consider any aggression committed against our alliance to be a deadly threat to the entire alliance. As a result, should your people engage in any sort of violence or aggression against any member of this alliance at any time, every member of it will declare war on Earth, with the goal of ending your ability to commit further aggression ever again. In conclusion, while we find war odious and abhorrent, if you cannot control your violence, we will be forced to control, not for your benefit, but for our own.
You know Grand Funk, don't you? The wild, shirtless lyrics of Mark Farner? The bong-rattling bass of Mel Schacher? The ... adequate drumwork of Don Brewer? |
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Neville
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
Spain
1590 Posts |
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