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Sardu
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
1126 Posts |
 Posted - 04/22/2008 : 7:38:07 PM
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[url]http://www.theyrecoming.com/movies.php?num=292[/url]
This is the worst movie I have personally ever seen. It's so obscure that that was the only review I could find of it and she doesn't really attempt to explain what's actually in the (and I use the term so loosely an elephant could wear it for underpants) movie but her reaction is pretty dead on. I remember near the end it abandons all attempt at narrative structure (such as it was) and degenerates into a topless and probably 'luded out Julie Strain primal screaming in an empty swimming pool for 15 minutes.
I triple dog dare anyone here to find a copy and sit all the way through it. This makes stuff like Manos and Monster-A-GoGo look like Eisenstein productions in comparison.
(Hey, doesn't the URL tag work anymore??)
"Meeting you makes me want to be a real noodle cook"
--Tampopo |
Edited by - Sardu on 04/22/2008 7:40:01 PM |
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RVHorror
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
532 Posts |
Posted - 04/23/2008 : 12:47:47 PM
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I have to admit I'm a Dune fan, though the longer version just seemed longer without adding any real value.
Worst movie I have ever seen, ever, even beating out Manos: Hands of Fate is...Maidstone, directed by and starring Norman Mailer. I saw a screening of that at the AFI in Washington DC some years ago. At the end of the film, I was the only one still in the theatre. |
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Greenhornet
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
1791 Posts |
Posted - 04/23/2008 : 5:17:27 PM
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I'll vote for The Creeping Terror too. Who could ever forget the pipe-smoking guy (Is he related to the "cigarette man" on X-Files?) calmly watching as the people in lovers' lane get "eaten"?
"The Queen is testing poisons." CLEOPATRA, 1935 |
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RossM
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
427 Posts |
Posted - 04/23/2008 : 8:20:36 PM
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| The only movie that got me so angry that I demanded my money back was Fellini Satyricon. I hated this horrible disgusting movie. I demanded my money back and got it. |
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Neville
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
Spain
1590 Posts |
Posted - 04/24/2008 : 03:30:34 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by RVHorror
I have to admit I'm a Dune fan, though the longer version just seemed longer without adding any real value.
All cuts but the original theatrical cut have been disowned by Lynch. i tried to watch a newly restored edition, which featured drawings instead of images at some point, but I couldn't get past the first minutes. |
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Terrahawk
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
644 Posts |
Posted - 04/24/2008 : 11:09:06 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Neville
Originally posted by RVHorror
I have to admit I'm a Dune fan, though the longer version just seemed longer without adding any real value.
All cuts but the original theatrical cut have been disowned by Lynch. i tried to watch a newly restored edition, which featured drawings instead of images at some point, but I couldn't get past the first minutes.
I believe that was the first "Director's Cut" that Lynch refused to participate in. It had the drawings with I believe the narration done by Herbert himself. Lynch's Dune for all of it's confusion and liberties it takes with the book is the definitive movie in my opinion. The mini-series just never captures the other worldliness of the book. It's a unimaginative regurgitation of the book.
If the standard for bad movie is that it is a cure for insomnia then a serious contender is the George Clooney Solaris. Really, the film wasn't entertaining on any level.
- Si desea pulse 2 para español, encontrar un país diferente. - |
Edited by - Terrahawk on 04/24/2008 1:19:15 PM |
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Ericb
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
648 Posts |
Posted - 04/24/2008 : 12:25:37 PM
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Since no one else has brought them up I feel obliged to mention Coleman Francis' light aircraft trilogy, The Beast of Yucca Flats, Skydivers and Red Zone Cuba. I tried watching Skydivers without the MST3K gang but couldn't manage it. As Crow T. Robot said of Red Zone Cuba "This movie dares you to watch it."
"I reserve the right to look as well as be boring." - Robert Fripp |
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Sardu
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
1126 Posts |
Posted - 04/24/2008 : 6:59:40 PM
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The Coleman movies are bad but I personally think Robot Monster is worse. Francis amassed quite a noteworthy body of work though; not a lot of directors of his, er, caliber got to make a second or third film. Unless you're one of the Jesus Francos or Delores Wishmans of the world- apparently doing nudies would really take you a long way back in the day
"Meeting you makes me want to be a real noodle cook"
--Tampopo |
Edited by - Sardu on 04/24/2008 7:00:07 PM |
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Asta Kask
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
Sweden
263 Posts |
Posted - 04/25/2008 : 05:52:52 AM
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Battlefield Earth comes to mind. It really had no excuse to fail - it had a bestselling author's work, a decent budget and real actors. Yet it is dull, bland and stupid. It's not even entertaining.
Although bad comedy is really where the true gems of suckness comes. It's not even entertaining to watch.
And when I saw that they made a parody of 300 I just asked "I thought 300 was the parody."
- Who is John Galt? - |
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Ericb
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
648 Posts |
Posted - 04/25/2008 : 07:00:52 AM
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quote:
bestselling author's work
Well, "bestselling" doesn't necessarily mean good.
"I reserve the right to look as well as be boring." - Robert Fripp |
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Ericb
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
648 Posts |
Posted - 04/25/2008 : 07:17:31 AM
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Actually it's interesting if you reduce Battlefield Earth and Dune to equations and then compare them.
With Battlefield Earth you have:
Silly Novel + Good Actors + Enough Money + Hack Director = Bad Movie
With Dune you have:
Good Novel + Good Actors + Enough Money + Good Director = Bad Movie
There really are no Laws of Jabootu.
"I reserve the right to look as well as be boring." - Robert Fripp |
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RVHorror
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
532 Posts |
Posted - 04/25/2008 : 3:49:26 PM
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One thing not mentioned in the above equations is "Enough Time." As I recall, Dune was locked into Christmas '84 release and I think there just wasn't enough time to get it "right." Also, and this bears mentioning, Dune is a pretty complex story with lots of linear plots all converging. Much as I love the work of David Lynch, storytelling is not a strength of his.
"Battlefield Earth" on the other hand, was a true labor of love from John Travolta and I'm sure he took the time and care to make sure it came out "right." The fact that this state looked pretty ludicrous to the rest of us...well... |
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hk6909
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
651 Posts |
Posted - 04/26/2008 : 07:48:06 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Ericb
Actually it's interesting if you reduce Battlefield Earth and Dune to equations and then compare them.
With Battlefield Earth you have:
Silly Novel + Good Actors + Enough Money + Hack Director = Bad Movie
With Dune you have:
Good Novel...
I personally hated Dune as a book. It had the biggest Gary Stu I'd ever seen as a protagonist (that's changed since then, but still...) and it never really came together for me as a story even trying to look beyond that.
When a stranger calls, make friends with him. |
Edited by - hk6909 on 04/26/2008 07:50:39 AM |
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Ericb
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
648 Posts |
Posted - 04/26/2008 : 09:05:35 AM
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Personally, I didn't care for it either but I can see the appeal it has to some so I wouldn't it "bad."
"I reserve the right to look as well as be boring." - Robert Fripp |
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New Hinda
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
Israel
469 Posts |
Posted - 04/28/2008 : 04:57:40 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by RossM
Its easy to go after movies like Plan 9 From Outer Space. But that was an independent movie from a very enthusiastic director who had little sense and less money. I would prefer to go after big budget lunacies that are truly impossible to watch such as The Other Side of Midnight or Sydney Sheldon's Bloodline. (he insisted on his name being in the title so lets give it to him). They are horrible in concept, badly made and acted, and as has been said philosophically ridiculous. A union of form and content.
PLAN NINE FROM OUTER SPACE is so bad its good. The most boring, pretentions BAD movie I have ever been subjected to was THE DISCREET CHARM OF THE BOURGEOSIE. UGH!!!!! |
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