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RVHorror
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
532 Posts |
 Posted - 06/07/2009 : 11:20:59 PM
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Smell: The disk smells great. Kind of an oily, industrial type smell.
Pre-menu trailers: All rip-offs of well known other properties (you would recognize them all immediately), they look more entertaining than the originals. Of course, if you can't make a great trailer, you're really in trouble.
Menu graphics: kind of lame. Looks like flash animation circa 1998.
Picture quality overall: great.
Photography: very well done. Clear, great color, no stupid inappropriate flashery. Except for the weird B&W freeze-frame stuff listed below.
Direction: well done, focused, keeps things moving and kinetic without being jerky or distracting. Ocasionally quite impressive and exciting, while at other times a bit telegraphic.
Score: I hope someone at least bought Danny Elfman a drink. A big drink. Also, James Horner. The sincerest form of flattery, etc.
Computer effects overall: from surprisingly decent to enjoyably cheesy.
When we first meet our heroine, she's listening to Bach. A good sign.
Dialogue: well, I guess the actors have to say something every now and then. Let's just grab a dictionary and write some stuff! It'll work.
Storm effects: let's turn the image black and white for a second! It makes it look like lightning! (They do this every now and then for no seeming reason, except that it seems to mean escalating tension. Unless it's in a lab.)
People cliches: way too many. Revision: way, way too many. Revision: nearly ridiculous level of cliches. Revision: it's almost at "Airplane!" level.
Don't say, "This was no boating accident!' please. Okay, well, she didn't, she just rephrased it.
Attack on the jet: cool, but over too fast and a bit too blurry.
The old professor: Is there a Scotty in the house?
Okay, what's with the black-and-white freeze frames in the "research" montage?
And now we have Sulu, too.
Okay, that shark fin is silly looking. Also, that commander's dialog really needs work. "It...rises!" and "No! No!"
Lorenza Lamas is like some kind of really bad Will Farrell robot. Is he supposed to be Kirk?
OK, this goes beyond the pale: "...containment [of the monsters]," "You mean destruction," "No, I mean containment." The benefits to science, a perfect opportunity to study, yadda yadda yadda. Well, you should start building an aquarium now, otherwise...no, never mind. Also, I understand that the death of thousands of innocents means nothing in the face of being able to study these creatures. *Rolls eyes*
More lab work montage. Also, that kiss just bumped the cliche meter into the red. And the clinch made the meter start to smoke. And smoking is bad for your health.
Pheremones: is there anything they can't do?
Golden Gate Bridge attack: again, impressive, but again, too short. How come the shark gets all the glory moments? Hello, octopus?
"My God...what have we done?"
Why is it, that whenever anyone suggests nukes, it's always Will Farrell who does it.
I'm glad that guard shaved. It was about time. Can we move the camera too?
Um, so, now it's okay if the monsters die? What the hell? I know someone famous said consistency is foolish, but I think he was mostly kidding.
And we're back to the beginning? So all those people were killed for...entertainment?
Nice use of Shakespeare, (and the music from Star Trek II if I'm guessing right).
It's okay to reuse footage, but don't do it right after you just showed it.
Shark chasing sub: awesome. Octopus attacks wolf pack: awesome.
"It may only be a communications failure...deep water interference...or impact on the communication system itself." Yeah, keep guessing.
Well, that was pretty stupid of the octopus. What did it think the shark would do?
Well, that guy's sweaty intensity was pretty impressive, but we don't need this subplot just now, thanks anyway. And cut! Thank you.
Yay for the unsung heroic sacrifice. Hope those guys got posthumous medals or something. No one seems to really care, you know.
Stop repeating footage please. And...well...shouldn't that have been a bit, well, lengthier?
And there's the setup for the sequel.
Verdict: Overall, entertaining, though there should have been more beast action and less human stuff. The human stuff you've seen a million times before, and I'm not kidding. The beast action was probably too expensive to have more of it.
Overall: Well worth a rental and if you wanted to add it to your collection, well, I wouldn't pass judgment. I'm not only a customer, I bought the company! (Not really. I just bought the DVD.) |
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Mega-Shark versus Giant Octopus
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