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Gristle McThornbody
Preeminent Apostolic Prelate of the Discipleship of Jabootu
Germany
186 Posts |
 Posted - 11/10/2008 : 2:26:46 PM
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Here's a simple game...explain how a movie would have been much shorter if there had been one slight change in a character's actions or ability. Two examples:
John Carpenter's The Thing would have been about six minutes long if the Norwegian in the helicopter was a better marksmen (admittedly, it would be tough to hit a dog from a helicopter).
or
Funny Games would have been about 10 minutes long if the wussy neighbor had had the stones to tell Tim Roth and Naomi Watts to call the cops when they stopped outside his gate on the way to their house.
"Hi, I'm Bob Evil!" |
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Sardu
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
1126 Posts |
Posted - 11/10/2008 : 3:50:21 PM
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...if Neo had taken the blue pill...
...if the first droid Uncle Owen (Skywalker) had bought hadn't broken down...
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I sleep now!! |
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Terrahawk
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
644 Posts |
Posted - 11/10/2008 : 4:14:21 PM
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...if Freedo hadn't missed with that first...ummm... added in shot at Han Solo
...several movies is Auhnuld decided to not come back...
I summon Bigger Fish! |
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Nlneff
Diocesan Ecclesiarch of the Sacred Order of Jabootu
USA
84 Posts |
Posted - 11/10/2008 : 7:47:18 PM
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...If they hadn't let Kane into the ship on Alien.
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Nlneff
Diocesan Ecclesiarch of the Sacred Order of Jabootu
USA
84 Posts |
Posted - 11/10/2008 : 8:02:40 PM
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Speaking of The Thing
If Gary hadn't killed the Norwegian trying to kill the dog in The Thing |
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BradH812
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
1294 Posts |
Posted - 11/10/2008 : 10:45:49 PM
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....if tax laws in House of Sand and Fog were anything like real-world tax law
....Dennis Weaver had decided to get on the interstate in Duel
(in a similar vein)
....Jim Halsey didn't pick John Ryder up in The Hitcher (original)
(or alternately)
....Jim Halsey had backed up and run over John Ryder after the first encounter
Here's one to think about...
Both trilogies would have ended more quickly if....
.....Jar Jar had been left on Naboo, and never got a chance to recommend that Palpatine be named High Poo-Bah of the Republic |
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Neville
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
Spain
1590 Posts |
Posted - 11/11/2008 : 02:49:53 AM
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In Die Hard, if John McLane had convinced his wife to spend the Christmas vacation in New York instead of L.A.
In Halloween, if the guards from the asylum had done their job. We also would have been spared the 10 sequels.
In Friday the 13th, if the teenage monitors had decided to make out after pulling the drowning Jason Vorhees from the water, instead of while he was drowning. Ditto about the sequels.
In Unforgiven, if William Munny had decided pig farmers pushing 60 with children shouldn't become bounty hunters. |
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Flangepart
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
2329 Posts |
Posted - 11/11/2008 : 06:48:05 AM
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As the dog had been changed to an alien, I doubt the Norwegian would have really stopped the thing, but hey...
OCTOPUS. That stinking wuss agent had just plugged the terrorist, the giant monster could have been the real focus of the stupid film! Octopus...he said Octopus. So Slooooly I turned...
THE MIST. " Boy, am I glad I diden't shoot everyone like I planned to...got any gas for the SUV?"
DEANZILLA. The Army had been better shots!
FATE IS THE HUNTER. Rod Taylor had not spilled his coffie.
Marvin the Paranoid Android to Buzz Lightyear "Too infinity and beyond-i've been there, its rubbish!"
"Hoody Hoo, i waste 'em with my cross bow!" Bob Herzog- KODT
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Edited by - Flangepart on 11/11/2008 06:51:41 AM |
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RossM
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
427 Posts |
Posted - 11/11/2008 : 09:49:54 AM
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| Roger Ebert calls it the idiot plot, that is as soon as someone does the intelligent or even normal thing the movie simply stops. Why in those dead teenager movies doesnt anyone simply call the police? Why play with vials that they know are filled with deadly spores? Why go skinny dipping in a lake that they know is filled with allegators? |
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AnnGora
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
252 Posts |
Posted - 11/11/2008 : 12:51:22 PM
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Gone With the Wind would have ended a lot sooner if the Yankees had taken all of Tara's curtains.
She was bred in old Kentucky, but she's just a crumb up here. |
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Nlneff
Diocesan Ecclesiarch of the Sacred Order of Jabootu
USA
84 Posts |
Posted - 11/11/2008 : 2:15:29 PM
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Rambling off topic about The Thing...
I love how little details in The Thing are left to our Imagination, but with just enough information for some informed speculation. I always found the mystery of what exactly happened at the Norwegian camp fascinating.
From what we can gather, despite the movies rather bleak view of humanity* the Norwegians apparently managed to get the upper hand on the things back at their camp. Apparently they killed the original Thing, at least one of its duplicates, imitating a human, and chased the last remaining thing to the US camp. How did they manage this? When they are looking over the wrecked helicopter they mention they were carrying kerosene. So on their final Thing hunt, they had a rifle, some incendiary grenades (Or thermite? Decanite? No idea.) and a lot of kerosene. So presumably the plan was to cripple the Thing with bullets, then burn it while it was crippled.
*(which I actually consider a informed attribute of the movie, viewed from a certain perspective the movie can be both bleak yet portray a remarkable nobility in its characters.) |
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Neville
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
Spain
1590 Posts |
Posted - 11/11/2008 : 3:41:36 PM
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Some years ago me and Andrew from BadMovies.org crossed a few words about Screamers, a film that has some things in common with The thing. He mentioned that one of the reasons he liked it was that all the characters did they best to try stop the threat, yet they lost fair and square.
I imagine that's the key in this kind of movies. If the characters do stupid things or don't give it their best shot a tragic ending feels like the filmmakers are trying to pull a stunt in the last moment just for the sake of it. That's a problem I had with The mist, although I did enjoy the movie more than others. The filmmakers expected us to believe that Thomas Jane's actions were the most logical every time, which is far from true. Not to mention that the ending implies the people who stayed in the general store are likely to survive unscathed, and that really screws up the logic in the whole movie.
As for the game...
In A fistfull of dollars, the stranger, after being humiliated by the first henchmen he meets, decides that the village doesn't offer any interesting posibilities and leaves. Also valid for Yojimbo and Last man standing, with minimal changes. |
Edited by - Neville on 11/11/2008 3:45:44 PM |
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New Hinda
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
Israel
469 Posts |
Posted - 11/12/2008 : 03:34:24 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by RossM
Roger Ebert calls it the idiot plot, that is as soon as someone does the intelligent or even normal thing the movie simply stops. Why in those dead teenager movies doesnt anyone simply call the police? Why play with vials that they know are filled with deadly spores? Why go skinny dipping in a lake that they know is filled with allegators?
A WHOLE lot of horror movies would end the minute somebody took a warning seriously. |
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New Hinda
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
Israel
469 Posts |
Posted - 11/12/2008 : 03:35:18 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by AnnGora
Gone With the Wind would have ended a lot sooner if the Yankees had taken all of Tara's curtains.
It would have ended even before that if Melanie had died in childbirth. |
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BradH812
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
USA
1294 Posts |
Posted - 11/12/2008 : 05:36:45 AM
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| ....if Isildur had shown a lot more willpower and thrown that damn Ring into the lava and vanquished Sauron once and for all. |
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New Hinda
Holy Cardinal and Five Star General of the Righteous Knighthood of Jabootu
Israel
469 Posts |
Posted - 11/12/2008 : 07:16:53 AM
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| If Dances with Wolves had resigned from the army, gone to Washington, hunted up that General whose life he saved in the opening of the film, and said "I want to be an agent, living among and helping the Indians." Louisa May Alcott fans may remember Dan did that. (Jo's Boys.) |
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